Forgive these changes
by CadenceElektra
Summary: It was odd, even for her to be here on this day standing beside the man she was completely and utterly in love with, watching him offer someone else his hand in marriage. hermione/harry pairing.warning:sexual situations.OC,disregards epilogue/parts of bk7
1. To give you away

It was odd, even for her to be here on this day standing beside the man she was completely and utterly in love with, watching him offer someone else his hand in marriage. Hermione encouraged him with a smile, she watched him kiss her cheek and savoured in the feeling.

He turned to Ginny and Hermione felt her heart break as the girl looked upon harry happily. It was Harry's 21st birthday party, four years after the defeat of Voldemort, five years since Hermione fell in love with him.

She couldn't exactly pin point the exact moment she fell in love with harry, Hermione believed it was around the time that Hermione had been kidnapped by Voldemort himself that she truly fell in love with him. He alone had rescued her, against all better judgement, everyone he knew telling him she was dead, he never gave up on her.

_No, it was much earlier than that and you know it_. She thought hopelessly, _it would have been the day before you set off on that quest._ Hermione thought back to it, that day in august of what was heading into their seventh year of school. Harry ran into her room and proclaimed to her out of breath.

"_Hermione!" he exclaimed as he burst through the door to her room having no shame in the fact that his hair was drenched and he was clad only in a towel that hung loosely around his hips. Hermione let out a scream of shock as she reached for something to cover her naked body. She saw his eyes squinting to try and focus on what he was actually seeing. _

_She noticed he wasn't wearing his glasses and was therefore struggling to see her and therefore Hermione didn't feel the total need to cover herself as quickly as she felt before. Harry noticed her pause and frowned slightly, Hermione blushed when she noticed his eyes locked on her body. She felt vulnerable under his intense gaze and harry as if realising what he was doing looked up blushing._

"'_mi…'mione I… I didn't mean to im sorry… not that you don't look amazing… be-because… argh Hermione please cover yourself up… I may only be your best friend but I am a guy… and I can't think straight with you… being so…" Hermione immediately grasped her towel which was at his feet and felt his eyes staring into the back of her head as she bent down then stood up, fastening the towel around her._

"_Ha-harry… did you want something?" Hermione asked and for a moment she thought he was going to kiss her. He leant in and once more retreated his eyes holding confusion in their emerald depths._

"_I want… we need to leave, as soon as possible, we must go Dumbledore is gone and I am left with all of this." He motioned helplessly around him as if that clarified his point. "you don't have to come… I would never be able to get over losing you." he whispered and Hermione closed her eyes when his hand came up to tenderly stroke her face. he dropped his hand and Hermione saw the pain in his eyes. The pain confused her._

"_I have always followed you, into battles, into mysteries… I am your best friend; I would never leave you… I am not leaving you… and you cannot stop me Harry James _

_Potter." She stated firmly and Harry laughed running his hand through his messy black hair, the strong muscles on his chest moving as he did so. _

"_You know… I can almost make out every detail of you from this close." He whispered and Hermione blushed once more hoping her desire would not show._

"_You scared me harry, walking in like that! I was starkers!" she exclaimed and harry looked guilty. "I hope I didn't scar you for life." She teased and harry frowned._

"_You would never scar someone Hermione… you would bless them, heal them… you are the most beautiful witch I have ever met… in mind, body and most of all soul." Harry stated and then he smiled awkwardly and left the room._

_Yes_ Hermione thought to herself, _definitely that moment._ Harry looked once more to Hermione whom simply smiled again and nodded her head trying to hide the pain in her chest. Harry looked into her eyes intensely for a moment as if searching for something and then he smiled sadly and turned back to the pretty red head before him.

Hermione felt all the feeling in her body leave her as he bent down on one knee and produced a very large, what Hermione thought was over zealous ring, but Hermione knew it was just what Ginny would want.

Hermione was surprised when harry outright refused to give Ginny his mothers ring, lily potters ring was beautifully carved out of the finest goblin silver, and lilies themselves encompassed the diamond centre which had sapphires surrounding it, Hermione thought it was the perfect ring, the inscription saying _true love, forever and always. L&J. _harry had once said to Hermione on their quest that when he found love, the woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with he would inscribe hers and his initials on the ring, just like his father before him had.

Hermione was confused to say the very least but, she didn't dwell on the fact. All that consumed her now was uncontrollable, unimaginable sadness. She sat heavily on one of the sofas in Grimmauld place and gulped down her glass of fire whisky taking the bottle from the bar beforehand and pouring herself another heavy glass. She heard cheering as the newest couple to be married embraced to raucous applause and Hermione turned away from the scene not wanting to look upon it.

Hermione and Harry, through the years, for some reason or another had come to a weird living arrangement. His permanent residence would be Grimmauld place whilst hers would be Godrics hollow: the perfectly remade one that is. The thing that made it interesting is that every morning without failure they would meet up at one of the houses and have breakfast together. Then almost every evening they would have a light snack together or dinner depending on their plans for the evening.

It seemed that not a day went by where the pair would not write a note to each other at meal times or during breaks at their respective jobs. Not a day where they wouldn't at least see each other. Hermione knew, that the moment this happened, the moment another woman became the centre of Harry's life this all would change.

Would she even be allowed to stay at Godrics hollow anymore? Would Ginny want harry spending so much time with her? _No Ginny is a very jealous woman._ Truth be told, after the 'quest' as harry and Hermione called it, Ginny had been very cold and distant toward Hermione, probably due to the amount of time and the severe emotional attachment she and the love of her life seemed to share.


	2. Shall i keep lying?

**AN. I do not own harry potter or anything associated with it, I am simply a fan.**

Ginny had never treated Hermione the same. Up until now it hadn't bothered her, Ginny had been cordial, polite, to appease harry of course, but Hermione saw in her eyes the annoyance and blatant mistrust the youngest Weasley had for Hermione. Hermione thought it was awful the way she would think of Hermione like that. But Ginny was terrified, Hermione realised, she was terrified that harry would lose interest and Ginny would be without the man she had chased after since she was ten years old.

Hermione gulped down her third glass and didn't notice Luna whom had come to sit beside her. Hermione turned and apologised and Luna simply looked at her sadly. Hermione was always confused how Luna seemed to be able to read people so well, like Hermione could read harry.

Luna placed a sisterly arm around Hermione's shoulders and Hermione smiled. The pair had began an odd friendship after the 'quest' and during the few weeks before the battle that ended Voldemort. Luna was as true a friend as Hermione could ever hope for. And now that harry was basically.. gone she had only Luna, well not exactly.

Another friend ship which was twice as surprising as her one with Luna was her one with Draco Malfoy. Hermione knew that both harry and Draco still held a childhood distaste for each other, but because of Hermione's influence, they had developed a mutual respect for one another, harry finally accepting the fact that Draco had switched sides in the end and saved his life. Draco accepting that harry was a good man.

Draco immediately made a bee line for Hermione and placed a brotherly arm around her waist. "what's up your broomstick Hermione? Wait… wrong choice of words, you don't own a broomstick do you?" he teased and Hermione smiled painfully. Draco immediately knew of her distress and the look Luna gave him cemented his suspicion.

Hermione knew the looks the two blondes had given each other and would have laughed at the silent conversation, under different circumstances. Hermione knew that she had brought many people together, it was strange, how one person could bring so many together. _I brought harry and Ginny together, I gave Draco and harry closure and funnily enough Draco and Luna seem to be closer friends than I ever thought possible. _

That's what Hermione was, glue, and she was definitely a settler, she settled for her life, not that she didn't love the people in it… but she settled on her own unhappiness by giving the man she loved away to the one person she thought was best for him _and a good thing I did, like he would ever see me any other way._ Hermione sighed, she felt very lonely, it had been almost a year since she had been with a man, oliver and Hermione calling it quits after she caught him sleeping with her assistant.

She was a settler, she settled for Ron, _bless his soul_, and he had done nothing more than shag her very room mate lavender brown whilst she and harry were away and Ron had left them only to return two weeks before the battle. Hermione however, was glad that they had those two weeks with him to pick up the pieces of their shattered friendship, before he had died, saving their lives.

She thought that after Ron, that Cormac may be different, sadly she was wrong again, she waiting another year and low and behold Oliver had done the exact same thing. Hermione often pondered what she did that drove men do bed another when they could probably have her any time they wanted. Was she too distant? Was she losing her touch in faking climax? Hermione shuddered at the thought, she had heard from Ginny and Luna the feeling of utter brilliance that was sex, but Hermione had shook her head when Luna asked what was wrong. Ginny mostly bragged to her 'friends' how good harry was, Hermione knew he would be good, he's Harry Potter. But Hermione was fearful that she had lead harry to the wrong woman, Ginny seemed intent on becoming Ginny Potter no matter whom she had to step over to do it.

She had shunned away all possible female influence in Harry's life with the exceptions of Hermione, Luna and anyone married. But Hermione knew that Ginny thought of herself as better than Luna even though Luna's beauty outshone the red heads any day, Luna simply did not flaunt it the way Ginny did. At heart Luna was a tomboy, she loved dressing simply, not going over the top with over zealous dresses and makeup, she reminded Hermione a lot of herself.

But Hermione was in the mid ground between Ginny and Luna in her code of dress. Whilst Ginny wore over priced frocks and other things that made her look like a 'couple of junbugs' as Luna called it had gotten to her, Hermione was told that junbugs were things that made you into a selfish, pompous arse, in blatant terms.

Hermione agreed with this. But Ginny's outright shunning of Luna and her ways always angered Hermione, what was worse was that Ginny was overly sweet when harry was around. Hermione, Luna always said, was in the middle, she was not as casual as Luna, but not nearly as vain as Ginny, Luna said that Hermione had something women dream for and envy, _class._ Hermione laughed at the idea. Hermione looked over to Ginny whom was showing her new rock off to her family, her very revealing and not modest red dress was enough to make Hermione sick to her stomach.

She was basically whoring herself, that's the only way Hermione could think of it when she looked at her simple black dress, modest enough in Hermione's opinion. Secretly this dress was Harry's favourite and he smiled and whispered before the party. _You look beautiful 'mione, you wore the one I chose! It's my favourite on you, you know._ Hermione sighed at the memory and Luna in her dress pants and dark blue blouse sighed as well.

"You know Hermione… that's sickening that is." Draco growled and Hermione followed his gaze to where Ginny was flirting unashamedly with Dean Thomas. Hermione frowned and placed her glass down. The liquor did not go straight to Hermione's head as it would have done to most witches. Hermione began walking toward Ginny and when she was about two feet away she felt familiar arms encircle her waist and she gasped at the sudden warmth.

She saw Ginny look over Dean's shoulder in anger as harry kissed Hermione's cheek and Hermione smiled up at him, the pair embracing tightly. "Well Hermione, I did what you said to, I proposed… are you happy now?" he asked tenderly and Hermione smiled fighting the tears away.

"Of course I am Harry, why wouldn't I be?"

**AN please review, tell me what you think, then I might have the confidence to post another chapter…**


	3. She knows

**An: thanks for the reviews teaandagoodbook, little birdie and blauengel! **

**Once again I do not own anything to do with harry potter and apologize for any mistakes I make re spelling etc.**

**Now back to the story.**

Just as harry opened his mouth to answer a short clearing of the throat was heard and they turned still in each others arms to see Ginny glaring daggers at Hermione whilst at the same time smiling sweetly at harry.

"Sweetheart, come now we must speak to the minister! He has just arrived!" Ginny demanded in her fake sweet voice and she dragged harry away from Hermione who looked apologetically to Hermione and Hermione gasped in shock when she saw Ginny wink at Dean whom smirked back.

Hermione walked back to where Draco and Luna were seated and noticed the way Draco was staring at the witch, whom was either a really good actress or didn't notice the attention the handsome wizard was giving her.

"What happened?" Luna asked dreamily and Hermione explained everything including her suspicions over Ginny's faithfulness to harry. Draco frowned and pulled her between them once more.

"we all know she's a tart… its in her nature to grab the best prospect and suck the life out of the fellow… like a black widow…. Correction like a leech… always looking for new blood but wanting to stay onto the current one whilst she sucks him dry." Draco spat and Hermione's eyes widened toward him. He had black dress pants on and a black shirt, his silver tie was loose and Hermione smiled at the ruffled up hair, he used to always care about his hair, well that was before he became acquainted with Luna whom stated his hair looked like troll saliva had sleeked it back and if he wasn't careful the dunger flies would come and eat his hair.

Draco took this as an insult against his hair and snapped back angrily that he did not have troll saliva in his hair. Hermione smiled suddenly when she remembered Luna reaching forward and messing up his hair slightly and then she said _see now you look much more handsome._ She blushed and Hermione believed it was the first time she had ever seen Luna blush. Draco must have agreed with Luna but kept it tidy whenever he knew he would see Luna just so she would run her fingers through his hair, Hermione suspected Draco had a crush on Luna and vice versa, both were either ignorant or too shy to act on it.

Hermione decided that she couldn't stare at the couple anymore and sat on the table infront of Luna and Draco so that she didn't have to look. She watched Luna reach out curiously and scruff up his hair some more at the back. He smiled smally as she did it, closing his eyes to the feeling. The only Slytherin friend Hermione knew that Draco had maintained had been Blaise Zabini, the handsome black wizard whom had a deep voice and a surprisingly kind heart. He had taken to Hermione and Luna quite well when draco first introduced them and for that Hermione was glad.

Blaise, as Draco put it _never really was into pureblood prejudices, everyone thought he was different, but he was powerful and everyone respected him._ Blaise entered the room late, as per usual due to his auror duties and nodded to harry and made his way to the three on the couch, away from the main party. Draco moved extremely close to Luna to allow his friend room, much more room than he needed but the two blondes seemed pleased with the arrangements.

Blaise smirked and turned to Hermione whom was rolling her eyes.

"Hello Hermione, may I say you look beautiful tonight."

"I would say you looked sexy but by the look on your face you already know it." It had become a tradition for them to speak like that at parties and gatherings; it helped prevent any unwanted people approaching. Blaise sighed and noticed Hermione reach for another glass of firewhisky.

"How many Hermione?" he asked looking at the glass and Hermione used her fingers to show four whilst downing the glass. Blaise frowned and his frown deepened when he looked over to the newly engaged couple.

Draco looked up and his face grew stony, Luna's dreamy eyed look faded into nothing and Hermione knew she did not want to turn around. "look at that slut… basically advertising herself to the minister for magic like that, I mean look at how she's hanging off of harry like he's a leaning post." Blaise said angrily, the three others knew that Blaise still harvested a crush on the young Weasley, and was jealous and angry whenever she would flaunt herself like she was now.

"Blaise, potter isn't going to try and talk sense into her, she's always sweet and irresistible when around him… he doesn't know better, she needs a man who knows everything… everything and will love her no matter what." Draco looked at Blaise whom nodded and Luna sighed.

"I am sorry Hermione… but they are not right for each other… the warpies are not surrounding them like they do with a destined couple." Blaise and Draco smiled at Luna's words, they had grown used to her odd ways of explaining things, even though they didn't believe in the creatures themselves it was her way of telling them how it is. Hermione adored her for it. Hermione didn't dare turn around instead she reached for another glass and Blaise shook his head floating the bottle away and Hermione sighed.

The party slowly diminished and Hermione had decided to enlarge Harry's sofa so Hermione could sit in between Blaise and Draco. She laughed when Draco and Blaise started a glare war and Luna mussed Draco's hair to settle him. This made Blaise smirk and poke his tongue out at the blonde whom simple pulled a rude hand gesture in his friend's direction whom laughed.

Soon the only people left were Harry and two of the aurors from his department and of course Ginny and her 'possy' as Draco called it. Ginny was in the middle of about five girls, consisting of Lavender Brown, Fleur Delacour now Weasley, Pavati Patil, Padma Patil and Cho Chang. Why she was friends with these girls, simple: they were either important or obsessed with harry and Ginny or both. Ginny loved the attention.

Her personality had changed shortly after the final battle and Hermione didn't like the new changes. Hermione knew Ginny wasn't a virgin… far from it when harry and Ginny got together, knowing that Ginny was his first was utterly horrible for Hermione, to whom Harry described the first time as being fun and all, but not what he expected, he expected to feel complete afterwards, not empty.

Hermione and Harry never spoke directly of his sex life ever again, she did know that he was confused and empty and always questioned Ginny's love for him. Hermione would reassure him, trying to hide her doubts.

She was brought out of her thoughts and into the conversation Blaise, Draco and Luna were having when she heard her name from the group of gossiping witches.

"It's huge Ginny, oh you lucky girl for snapping that one up! I always thought granger would snatch him!" Pavati exclaimed and Ginny laughed at the idea.

"Granger is not nearly pretty enough to gain Harry's attention let alone steal him from me. And she won't be around Harry very much when I have my way." Ginny stated a smirk on her face. The women surrounding her chuckled with her.

"Well you should better hope she doesn't get to close to your man, you don't know how much influence she has over him." Cho whispered and Ginny looked angry for a moment.

"Oh I know perfectly well the influence she has on him. They spend more time together than I spend with him… its infuriating, but now that this ring is on my finger and the moment my last name is potter he is mine and she will not take part in his life any longer." Hermione gulped and Blaise and Draco both felt her tense and they stopped talking and listened to the conversation, focusing on their drinks.

"How will you do that? They are best friends?" Padma asked and Ginny smirked, an ugly smirk that retracted from her natural beauty.

"Guilt… harry is a sucker for it…. Ill make him so guilty he won't be able to stand it and will bend to my will like a twig." Ginny said and Cho looked sceptical. Hermione felt her heart clench painfully, _twigs don't bend, they snap._

"I don't know Ginny, you saw the way they are with each other, it will be hard to wedge that between them… I mean have you seen the way she looks at him?"

At that Hermione went rigid and Blaise held her hand and forced her to look at him, his hand on her face.

"Hermione, we should go to library to your house anyway." He stated and Draco nodded.

"Oh I've seen, that little mudblood tramp wont get her hands on my man."

**AN Review maybe? If you want.**


	4. Together? or further apart

**AN thanks for the reviews and once again I do not own harry potter!**

**In this chapter we see things from harrys POV should be interesting…**

"_Oh I've seen, that little mudblood tramp wont get her hands on my man."_ At this Fleur gasped and excused herself. Hermione knew the French woman never really enjoyed the woman's company and was glad that at least one of them saw the true Ginny.

"Ginny that's harsh… Hermione is a nice girl." Padma whispered and Ginny rolled her eyes.

"We will see girls. But look at the time; I must be going before Harry's tired, if you get my meaning." She winked and walked over to harry leaving the women left to roll their eyes and shake their heads.

"When this ends… im siding with Hermione okay?" Cho whispered and the rest nodded and then left the house.

Hermione felt a tear fall down her face as Ginny dismissed the two aurors and kissed him sweetly on the lips. Harry looked over and noticed the sad expression on Hermione's face and Luna looked up, met the mans gaze and inclined her head to Hermione before holding both Blaise and Draco's hands and skipping from the room, all three waving goodbyes to Hermione and Harry on their way out.

"Ginny im tired and not in the mood, can you go home please, I just really wanna sleep." He said still staring at Hermione and Ginny frowned.

"But harry-"

"Ginny please." At this Ginny stormed from the room, but harry took no notice. He walked up to where Hermione sat and sat beside her. Closer than friends should but not as close as lovers. Hermione smiled with tears in her eyes and Harry sighed pulling her into a tight embrace.

Hermione relished in the feeling of his arms around her and felt herself lean into his body. She looked up and felt his breath wash over her face. he was looking so intently into her eyes that she fought back the desire to faint or ravish him, either one seemed plausible.

***

She was so beautiful, wearing that dress. The way she entered the room, it seemed to light up as she walked in. he looked appreciatively at her and she kissed his cheek warmly. The feeling her lips left on his cheeks lingered and he touched his cheek to try and keep it there.

Hermione smiled and held both his forearms looking reassuringly at him.

Harry didn't know why he was proposing to Ginny, she seemed interested in him yes… but most the time it seemed as if she simply liked the fame of her being on _his_ arm whenever in public and having the bragging rights of being his girlfriend. Now Hermione, she was different, she was friends with him because she knew him, not Harry Potter the legend or the man who lived. But just as harry, normal man, normal desires in life.

He wasn't sure he wanted children with Ginny. Harry adored children but couldn't picture having them with Ginny, she herself said that they would probably ruin her figure. Harry had frowned at this and told her that nothing would change if they loved each other, she'd still be beautiful.

But _her_… her now soft, tamed curls were long and fell to halfway down her back, on the rare occasions her hair was out that is. Her beautiful face, those perfect lips, nose and those eyes, he felt he could sink into them, swim in their chocolaty depths.

Harry remembered the day he had fallen head over heels in love with Hermione, it was the day before they left on the 'quest'. He had walked into her room, as he usually did and there she was standing before him completely naked and so beautiful. Harry hadn't had the heart to tell her that he had been wearing contacts that day, just to try them out and throw them away as they irritated his eyes. However he was glad he decided to wear them, she would have never stood before him so shamelessly if she thought he could see her.

She obviously wasn't worried, she had grown into a beautiful young woman, at the time he had seen Ginny in bathers and without a top on but she was nothing to Hermione. Ginny seemed… too expected, if those were the right terms, she was normal, she didn't have many curves and harry knew she was tainted by many hands before him.

But Hermione. She looked, perfect. Just right for him. He knew he would be having a very manly problem soon if she wasn't covered up and remembered trying to explain this without coming onto her.

Harry snapped back to his thoughts when Ginny turned to him grinning overly too sweet. Harry knew why he refused to give Ginny his mothers ring, it looked to good on Hermione the day she tried it on to please harry. And he didn't think Ginny really would want it, she wouldn't see the sentimental value and would see it as simply a second hand ring and that he didn't want to spend much money on her.

He turned to Hermione and she nodded smiling reassuringly and Harry saw happiness on her face, but sorrow in her eyes. He shook it off and turned back to the red head before him. Ginny seemed like an obligation, to Ron's memory and to the world whom expected them to be together forever. And Harry being the hero as always did what was expected of him, did as he was told, even at the sacrifice of his own happiness.

Harry had heard snippets of Ginny's conversation and knew that she was bagging out Hermione. Harry never knew why Ginny was so cold to his best friend, perhaps, harry sometimes feared, that Ginny knew of his love for Hermione. But he threw that theory aside.

When she looked so sad and Luna had basically demanded in her own way for him to comfort Hermione he had shrugged Ginny off quickly, despite her expecting some sort of 'celebration', but harry wanted one witch… and she was the one he couldn't have.

Hermione had never had much success with men. She was extremely close with Draco and Blaise, but outright refused that she would ever date them. The few other men whom had been in her life had all strayed, tearing at her already low self esteem by bedding another, slutty witch.

Harry had always been with her when she was crying, angry at the men whom had broken her so. But harry was concerned. Hermione hadn't been with a man in about a year, and she seemed quite, dishevelled lately. Despite Ginny's bragging harry and Ginny had not slept together in over a month, harry simply bombarding himself with work so that he wouldn't have to sleep with his girlfriend and have to picture her as his best friend to climax.

Harry sat beside her and she felt so good in his arms. So beautiful, she seemed to mould to him perfectly. He kissed her forehead gently and she looked up and she seemed slightly dazed when his breath washed over her face innocently.

Hermione smiled smally and stroked his cheek tenderly. "How are you feeling harry?" she asked and harry felt his heart burn with love for her, _here she is crying, and she wants to know how I am?_

"confused." harry admitted and Hermione frowned, her tears had dried up and now she was sitting up straight looking at him intently.

"Tell me harry, I can always read you and I know something is wrong." she said and harry smiled smally and opened his arms again so that she would come back into his embrace. She rested her head in his lap and looked up at him. This was their usual position for talks and harry liked it, he got to play with her soft curls.

"Okay… I know we don't talk about my sex life…" he could tell that she knew he was uncomfortable because she had started stroking his chest softly, it always calmed him. "You know how I said… that when I first was with Ginny I felt nothing that I expected… like an emptiness?" harry questioned and Hermione silently nodded. "Well, we haven't had sex in over a month… because I can't… I just can't bring myself to do it when it doesn't feel right." Hermione looked up and harry felt her brown eyes lock with his green in an intense gaze. "And this whole proposal…it doesn't feel right… im not happy… not overjoyed… I don't feel anything… just loneliness and despair gripping my heart." Hermione frowned and stroked his cheek. Harry removed the crease between her eyebrows with his finger and she smiled smally.

" 'mione, should I feel something?" he asked and Hermione sighed and felt tears sting her eyes and she felt the alcohol finally getting into her system, Hermione, her friends joked had a Irishman in her the way she took liquor so easily, even though she only drank when sad or wine at parties.

"You should harry… you should feel complete…" she trailed off and harry stroked her face gently to place a stray curl out of her face.

"Have you ever felt that Hermione?" he asked curiously lost in her eyes. He really wanted to know because if Hermione had felt it, he wasn't meant for her.

"No… not yet… to tell you the truth… I um… I have never…"

"Tell me 'mione." Harry said soothingly and Hermione blushed when she said the next sentence.

"I've never had an orgasm… like not once… I don't even know what it feels like…" she looked away from Harry's shocked expression and harry could tell she was regretting telling him.

"Hermione… not once?" he asked in disbelief and she turned and nodded.

"I think im getting very good at faking…"

"If you ever do have one… tell the guy or at least don't fake it." Harry ordered and Hermione chuckled. Harry wanted nothing more than to pull her into his embrace, bring her warm, moist lips up to his and kiss her, softly, lovingly.

He wished she had shown an interest in him, it always was confusing with Hermione, she seemed to be his best friend and only that, but then their were times where she would just stand there and stare at him for a moment longer than usual, her lips would linger on his cheek and her eyes would say the opposite of her actions.

Harry felt Hermione eventually relax and let slumber take over her tired body. He smiled and picked up his wand, locking up his house for the night.

Harry had wards set up on his floo and other points of entrance that only he and Hermione could enter without permission, Ginny was not privy to this knowledge, harry was sure she would have a fit.

Harry stood and sighed, she was so breath taking in sleep. He apparated them directly into godric hollows master bedroom. Hermione allowing harry to come and go as he pleased, very much like the privilege he gave to her. He placed her gently under the dark purple covers and she moaned gently and opened her eyes. It seemed that the alcohol had gone to her head slightly, _finally_.

Harry smiled down at her and she sighed. "Stay with me harry… I don't want to be alone…" she whimpered and he nodded slowly, afraid of what he might do if he let go of his self control.

**Reviews are always appreciated… keeps me updating!**


	5. A moment in dream

**AN just a warning my updates this week will be a tad scattered I have many many tests and assessments. Well back to the story. **

Harry walked into the bathroom and removed his shirt, shoes and socks, transfiguring his pants into night pants. He walked back into the room and saw Hermione before him in only her underwear digging through a draw.

She looked up and smiled innocently. "Oh come now Harry, its not like you haven't seen me naked before." Hermione stated and Harry frowned. "I know you were wearing contacts that day, Ron told me." Hermione chuckled at his embarrassed expression as she walked past him into the bathroom and picked up his large white undershirt. She placed it on and sighed in the heat that still lingered on it.

She walked up to the bed and slipped inside waiting for him. Harry approached and slowly slid in beside her. _This is no different to when you fall asleep on the lounge together… its only a bed… right?_ Harry thought as Hermione turned her back to him and drew his arms around her waist. She looked very adorable in his shirt. It went to about the middle of her tanned thighs, the remnants of her volunteer trips south.

Harry felt her lean back into him absentmindedly and he held in a moan when she perfectly fitted to his body, her backside gently resting infront of his sensitive region. _This is going to be a long night._ Harry thought as he felt her shift slightly under his arms as sleep once more took over her body.

Harry tightened his grip around her waist and took in a deep breath, but that didn't help his mind, the scent that reached his nose _her scent_ was of strawberries and what seemed like vanilla, harry presumed what made it so delicious was that scent of woman that seemed to pulsate off of her… or maybe that was just him.

He closed his eyes and felt tiredness come over him and cloud his thoughts. When he finally slept he felt good, for once, he felt complete.

***

She felt warm, very warm and very safe in his arms. She woke up slowly, his hands were rubbing gentle circles underneath the over sized shirt she wore. The fact that his hand was on her bare flesh made her want to quiver at the feeling. She had wondered for a moment what she was doing with Harry Potter in her bed, but then her memory came back to her and she remembered asking him to stay.

He had been so nice as well, like a true gentlemen, he hadn't even tried to cop a feel, well other than the fact he was running his fingers over her belly in his sleep. She knew he was asleep from the familiar heavy breath that was brushing over her ear. It wasn't annoying, quite to the contrary it made her quite glad to hear him breathing, after all the threats of losing him over the years.

Hermione was shocked harry hadn't had a night terror. He had told her that he didn't spend the nights asleep with Ginny because she thought there was no reason too. Harry believed that the feeling of someone you love beside you whilst you slept would be an amazing one, if he could ever experience it. But he was glad at the same time that Ginny hadn't witnessed him at his weakest moment. His mind as he put it would travel elsewhere and he would feel like he was back in the war, back with the face of death smiling up at him around every corner.

But Harry always called on Hermione right after he had a night terror, when his dreams over took him he was left with nothing but despair. He had felt guilty the first few times but after a while accepted the fact that Hermione would not leave him alone to deal with his problems.

"Hermione… please…"his murmuring was normal in his sleep Hermione had discovered but she had never heard her name said without terror in every syllable. Hermione turned in his arms and was surprised that she could, but knew that if she tried to break his hold on her he would awaken and she didn't want him too well _not just yet anyway._ She smiled warmly at his confused expression.

"Hermione… come away… come back to me… please I love… so…" a single glistening tear fell down his cheek and Hermione felt her heart clench.

"Harry, im not going anywhere, I love you too… now stay with me." Hermione whispered stroking his cheek and harry smiled in his sleep, Hermione could tell he was close to waking.

"Am I dreaming?"

"Quite possibly." Hermione teased and Harry's smile widened.

"Good."

"Why?" she asked nervously.

"Because when… someone dreams… they can do whatever they want… and not be afraid anymore…." He trailed off and he leaned in and kissed her neck. Hermione gasped at the feeling of his nuzzling into her neck and she let out a moan when he pushed her to her back and begun moving his hands down her body.

"Harry… you should wake up now." Hermione whimpered, she knew she was doing the right thing, even though she wanted his body against hers more than anything.

"But I like this dream 'mione." He murmured and Hermione moaned when he sucked on her pulse point. Hermione gasped when she felt his hard erection on her thigh.

"Harry! You aren't dreaming!" she exclaimed and harry opened his eyes and stared into hers. His eyes seemed afraid; worried that she would hate him.

"Hermione! Oh I am so sorry… I thought… I thought I was dreaming!" he blubbered and Hermione smiled embarrassed, feeling her cheeks redden, she wondered suddenly _does he dream of me often?_ She placed a hand on his cheek and was hurt when he flinched away sitting at the end of the bed, his back to her. He had his head in his hands and Hermione felt bad for him. She sat up and crawled over to him so that she was directly behind him; she wrapped her arms around his waist and embraced him.

After a few moments his hands came onto hers. She kissed the indentation between his shoulder blades and he sighed.

"Its okay harry… I don't mind… seriously." Hermione said quietly hoping not to give away her feelings. He groaned and rubbed his eyes with one hand, keeping his left on top of hers, his large hand covering both of her smaller ones.

"I'm sorry Hermione.. You are my best friend… I could have hurt you… I really am sorry… what if I had gone to far… you would never have forgiven me!"

"I'm sorry you didn't go to far…" he stiffened under her fingertips and she bit her tongue to stop herself from speaking.

"What did you say 'mione?" he sounded wary and Hermione released her hold of him. He turned and stared at her, his eyes dark with…something _was it passion?_ Hermione gulped _that was not meant to come out._

**AN: next chapter: "Nothing Harry… not- Harry what are you doing?"**

**Reviews would be nice, good or constructive criticism, anything to help my muse!**

**Thanks blauengel and redbird27, for the latest reviews!**


	6. Bally sprouts

**AN: chapter six! This chapter has quite a bit of content concerning both harry/Hermione and draco/luna… thanks for the reviews! You know who you are :D**

_**Last chapter:**__"I'm sorry you didn't go to far…" he stiffened under her fingertips and she bit her tongue to stop herself from speaking._

"_what did you say 'mione?" he sounded wary and hermione released her hold of him. He turned and stared at her, his eyes dark with passion. Hermione gulped that was not meant to come out. _

"Nothing harry… not- harry what are you doing?" she questioned as he crawled towards her staring at her curiously.

"Are you sorry I didn't ravish you? Didn't take you as my own and make you cry out my name." Hermione looked away from his prying eyes, her back against the headboard. She felt his hot breath on her face and she closed her eyes. "Look at me Hermione." He ordered and Hermione shivered, the tone in his voice was not threatening, but she still felt the need to obey.

She turned and he kissed her. It was a slow yet passionate kiss in which Hermione felt as if Harry was pouring his entire soul into it. She took a moment to respond and recover from the shock of his forwardness before she returned the kiss, stronger than his.

He moaned when she nibbled on his bottom lip tenderly and he licked her bottom lip waiting to be allowed entrance. She opened her mouth and let out a moan when his tongue entered her mouth, toying with her own.

She felt his hands on her hips holding her in place. He was gently massaging her thighs now, and Hermione quivered at the sensation. Hermione loved the taste of him, his kiss was passionate, the feeling of them both sending each other emotional messages. Then Hermione realised it. Harry potter was not just her friend anymore.

And then the image of one persons face flashed before her eyes: Ginny smiling down at her engagement ring.

Hermione pushed on his chest to free herself and he immediately sensing her distress pulled away onto his haunches. Hermione smiled smally and placed a few fingers to her lips.

"Harry what was that?" Hermione asked shyly and Harry frowned.

"I… im sorry… I couldn't help myself anymore… it's been so hard..." He said earnestly and Hermione bit her bottom lip. Ginny's face once more appeared before her eyes and she felt a tear roll down her cheek.

"What about Ginny?" she mumbled and he closed his eyes in pain.

"I don't love Ginny… I only asked her because you told me too." He whispered and Hermione let out a whimper.

"I'm so sorry… if I had known… that you didn't love her… I wouldn't have suggested… put you through so much pain. Forgive me Harry." She felt her voice failing and her heart breaking in two for the man before her.

"Hermione… I have a situation… to put to you… say I was in love with someone else… someone beautiful… a friend…. Should I tell her 'I love you' or what?" Harry asked and Hermione sensed his distress, confusion.

"If I was this woman you love.. I would not want to be the 'other' woman, I would not give them a second glance because they are betrothed to someone else… you made a choice… you would have to end any relationship you have before.. anything between you and this woman can occur." Hermione struggled to say it… she wondered if she were the other woman, the one he loved, she believed he did, but perhaps kissing her was just a way to get some release. Hermione hoped he loved her, if he did she was breaking her own heart by giving that advice.

"Okay… I'm going to try… and end it with Ginny, it's not right for either of us." Harry stated and he stood magicking all of his clothes to his body, except for the undershirt that Hermione still wore. "I… Hermione… 'mione…" he said tenderly smiling at her. "You truly are the most beautiful witch I have ever met." Harry stated and then he left apparating on the spot.

***

Draco entered the leaky cauldron annoyed. _If my assistant had of gone to diagon alley like I had told him too and had gotten the paperwork needed from Ollivanders I wouldn't need to do this_! Draco sighed and nodded to Tom the bar tender.

He was walking briskly through the bar when long blonde hair caught his eye. He turned and recognised Luna sitting on her own, a quibbler in front of her. Luna was now the editor of the quibbler, now as sought after as the daily prophet. Draco smiled; Luna was quite well off now, more so than she had been when her father was alive.

She looked smart in her tight knee length black skirt and white blouse. She had high heels on and looked as if she had just come from an important interview, she always dressed similar to that for interviews. She sipped her butterbeer thoughtfully, mulling over the contents of one of her reports.

Draco straightened his button up shirt and walked forward, nervously flattening his already flattened hair. He leant over her shoulder, without her knowledge and read the headline 'potter engaged!'.

"Draco I know you are standing there so you might as well sit." Luna murmured not glancing up and Draco's jaw dropped in shock.

"How did you know?" he asked in disbelief as he took the seat beside her. She looked up and smiled at him warmly, reaching out and messing up his hair.

"You know Draco I don't like your hair flat, why do you always make it flat?"

"Well… if it wasn't flat, you wouldn't have an excuse to touch me." Draco said blushing slightly _what are you doing! Draco Malfoy does not blush… well to anyone else that is._ _Ok I will make this one exception._ Luna bit her lip her hand moving down from his hair to stroke his cheek fondly.

"I don't need an excuse to touch you." Luna whispered and Draco smiled smally. She dropped her hand and Draco looked at her curiously. _Does she like me as much as I love her? Wait… love … Draco Malfoy does not love! I don't know what love is…_

"Well I know my looks are irresistible." He teased and Luna rolled her eyes smiling at him. Draco felt he could fall into her large dreamy blue eyes. They seemed to sparkle when she smiled and he adored her for it. "So what are we up to?" he asked and Luna sighed frustrated, a rare event.

"Ginny is making me write this stupid article about her and Harry, I know it will sell magazines but it makes no sense to fill it with lies. The prophet isn't doing a piece because they are afraid to offend Harry." At this she rolled her eyes and Draco scanned the highly edited, by Ginny Weasley, article and frowned at the added 'perfect couple', 'true love' and 'beautiful engagement'. He snorted and Luna nodded

"My thoughts exactly!" she exclaimed and Draco chuckled and she shot him a fake glare, he could tell it was fake by the way her lips were twitching in a hidden smile.

"Well I think you should run what you know to be true, be scandalous, be crazy, what's the quibbler for?" he proclaimed and Luna suddenly smiled tearing the article up in her hands.

"I think I will run it in a few days, get the red head a bit hot under the collar." She thought evily and Draco smirked.

"Sure you haven't got any Slytherin in you?" he teased and Luna patted him on the thigh twice and then let her hand rest there, much too both their surprises. The smile faded into a curious look as they both looked down to her hand which was resting on his thigh. He looked up and caught her staring at him.

She bit her lip and he felt her squeeze his thigh gently a shy smile on her face. Draco loved when she bit her lip, it was so innocent. He reached out and cupped one side of her face. Stroking her cheek tenderly. He swallowed and cursed himself inwardly for being so nervous.

"Luna…. I need to tell you something… I really like you… a lot… I think… I may be falling in love with you." he swallowed again when she wet her lips. She met his gaze and smiled smally.

"I think… we are both suffering from bally sprouts." She whispered and Draco chuckled in disbelief.

"I don't know what that means."

"It means I love you." Draco smiled broadly and felt his heart thump hard in his chest. He leaned forward and whispered.

"I love you so much." He then touched his lips gently to hers and felt light headed; her kiss was breath takingly sweet. She let him slowly deepen the kiss, but he didn't move much further into it, deciding to break away and leave their first kiss as a sweet one.

"Bally sprouts." Draco said and chuckled making Luna smile and nod.

***

Ginny woke up startled. The dark man next to her groaned and sat up next to her.

**Reviews? Maybe?**

**Next chapter ginny! Scary I know:P **

**Hope I captured luna's character ok…..**


	7. Make your own destiny

**ANHey guys, thanks for the amazing reviews :D keeps me going!**

**Now in this chapter Ginny is going through a tough time, she hasn't matured enough to know what she should do and I have tried to capture that immaturity on her part….**

**And this story needs to be developed quite a bit for me to get all I want out of it… so I hope you are in it for the long haul…. Well not that long… :P but you know what I mean**

**Now on to it…**

_Ginny woke up startled. The dark man next to her groaned and sat up next to her._

"What's wrong gin?" Dean asked scratching the back of his head, shaking it slightly to remove the grogginess he felt. Ginny leant back and smiled up at him. He kissed her tenderly on the lips and Ginny savoured in the feeling, _oh I love him so much_.

"Nothing Dean… everything is perfect." Ginny whispered and Dean sighed.

"Gin…. Ginevra… I have a problem sharing you…with _him_… I don't want to share you anymore…. I want the two of us to be exclusive… together… always." Dean said slowly and Ginny frowned, Dean knew that talking about Harry was against the rules.

"I thought we agreed."

"Well we agreed… but that was until I fell in love with you." Dean stated and Ginny gasped in shock, sitting up once more, her bare chest showing openly in the dark room.

"Dean…. You shouldn't have said that…"

"Why… it's the truth Ginny! And if I can't have you to myself, I can't have you at all… make your choice. Me or him. Fame or the man you really love and want." She let out a whimper and he sighed. "I know you love me."

"I do love you, with all my heart… I just… I can't!" she stood, the sheet now wrapped tightly around her. "This is why we have rules Dean! No mention of Harry… we must never be exclusive, each of us must have someone else! No emotional attachment!" she shrieked and Dean stood in his full glory, looming over her, she took a tentative step backwards in fear.

"You and your stupid rules! Why did you even have them in the first place! I don't want to hurt people Ginny, but I want you and only you, I haven't been with anyone else in two years." He looked down, his voice quickly losing all of the venom it had been laced with at first. He looked at his feet in shame and Ginny reached forward and placed a hand on his cheek.

"Dean… I can't… I am expected to do this… it is my destiny." She stated nervously and Dean growled.

"We make our own destinies…. Mrs Potter." He spat and Ginny withdrew her hand as if she had been burnt. Tears fell like rain down her face, warm, heavy droplets that did nothing to sooth the sudden coldness she felt in her heart.

And Ginny, rather than facing the problem, rather than facing the conflicting feelings, left. The moment the loud sound of her disappearance resonated inside the now dank room, Dean fell to his knees in agony.

***

Harry ran down the dirt path to the burrow's front door, breathing heavily from the physical effort. He knocked on the door and prayed Ginny would be here, he had looked for her everywhere, her flat, the "possies" houses, he knew she wouldn't be at Hermione's… he had been there and she definitely was not at Grimmauld, _she _could not access it.

He knocked once more and heard the shuffling of footsteps from inside the kitchen. Harry blushed furiously when Mrs Weasley answered the door looking a bit flushed and straightening her dress quickly. Mr Weasley ran up the stairs quickly and Molly laughed at the obviously troubled man.

"Hello Harry dear, how are you?"

"Oh im… im well Molly I was just wondering have you seen Ginny today at all? I can't seem to find her anywhere." Harry asked smiling in what he hoped was a sincere manner. Molly sighed and pointed up, where harry knew Ginny's old room was directly above. "May I?"

"Of course dear, now… if you will excuse me… Arthur… well…." She trailed off and Harry childishly blocked his ears smiling smally. Molly chuckled and skipped up the two floors to the bedroom she shared with Arthur.

Harry entered Ginny's room and found her sitting on her old rocking chair, staring out of the only window in her room. She sighed and closed her eyes, Harry saw that her diamond engagement ring lay on her bedside table. She looked so sad sitting there, Harry felt the sudden impulse to comfort her, she looked sadder than she had the day Ron had died. Harry for the first time in his life felt a rage for his dead friend, _he had hurt Hermione so much…_

"Ginny." Harry whispered and Ginny yelped in shock turning to face him. It was then Harry noticed the tears that were dribbling down her face in heavy, constant droplets. "Are you okay?" Harry asked and Ginny nodded quickly smiling falsely.

"Of course I am Harry… why wouldn't I be?" Ginny's voice was crackly and he knew she was silently cursing herself for it.

"No reason…" Harry avoided quickly. "Ginny, I think we should talk." Ginny's eyes darkened at the statement and harry swallowed heavily.

"About what harry?" she tried to sound sweet but failed miserably. Harry met her blazing gaze and diverted his eyes to her neck, she had quite the beautiful neck, lean and soft, perfectly coloured, with a splash of freckles and a large red- _wait… is that what I think it is?_ Harry frowned and looked up meeting her worried eyes.

"What's that on your neck?" he asked calmly and Ginny's hands immediately cradled her neck, fear flickering over her already distraught features. "Have you been cheating on me Ginny?" Harry asked and just as Ginny opened her mouth to answer, Charlie Weasley knocked on the door, a smile on his tanned face.

"Hey harry! Hope im not interrupting!" he joked and smiled at his sister whom gave him a fierce glare. Charlie looked to Harry's sad face and Ginny's furious and deduced the situation _bad._ "Um Harry, dad sent me here to get Gin to help with the kitchen…. Making supper and all." Harry nodded and turned to Ginny.

"Ginerva I can't do this anymore." Harry stated solemnly and left the room, hearing Charlie ask what Ginny had done this time.

Harry stormed from the house _how could she do this to me… I mean, I know we haven't been intimate in a while…. but… I would never do that to her! Never intentionally._

_Well you know what that means don't you? She only ever wanted you for your fame._ His subconscious said darkly.

_Maybe that's what they all want me for… not for me… they don't love just harry. _

_Probably right mate…_ his subconscious once more said and fell silent.

Harry apparated to Grimmauld place and told Dobby to bring his meals to his rooms and nothing else, he did not intend on leaving his room any time soon.

***

Hermione sat in Godric's Hollow wringing her hands together. They were like serpents and Blaise surveyed them critically as if they were the most interesting thing in the room. Hermione would have smiled at Draco and Luna, whose hands, Hermione noted were entwined, but she couldn't think, she couldn't speak, she hadn't seen Harry in two weeks.

They had never been apart for so long since back at school, in the summer holidays and even then they tried to speak to each other once a week. Hermione bit her lip whilst thinking of the memory of the other day, when Ginny had sent an owl, asking if she had seen her fiancé. Hermione gulped and bit her lip.

"Hermione, just apparate into his house, you are allowed access, something might be wrong, who knows, he might need you." Blaise stated and Hermione nodded, meeting his eyes. She sighed and ran her fingers through her dark curls. She had told them, in less graphic detail, what had happened the last morning Harry had been here and her fears of what was wrong with him.

"Hermione, I know you are in love with him. Just go to him. He returns such love." Luna stated dreamily and Hermione looked to the blonde witch, but she was gazing out the window looking intently at something in the distance. Hermione wondered for a moment, a mere second, what the young woman was thinking, what she suspected.

Hermione stood and nodded. "I'll go to him, it's just I only delayed because, Harry… he likes his space." Hermione whispered and Draco shook his head.

"He may like his space, but he likes you occupying his space,_ all_ the time." Draco whispered and Hermione smiled smally, apparating on the spot.

When Hermione arrived in the hallway of number twelve Grimmauld Place it was eerily dark and gloomy, like its previous days when the Blacks had resided in the home, Dobby stepped forward out of the shadows and smiled at Hermione, bringing his small, skinny arms around her legs in a tight embrace.

"Miss Hermione! So good to see you! Miss… Mr. Potter… he has requested no guests…" Dobby trailed off and Hermione patted him on the head gently.

"He will see me Dobby and I will help him, do not fear." Dobby smiled and Hermione walked up the hall way, up a flight of stairs and to the second floor where she entered Harry's room, the master suite. Harry's body was slumped over his bed diagonally, several of his limbs hanging limply over the sides of the mattress. Hermione sighed and walked forward, his hand still loosely held an empty firewhisky bottle, one that would soon join the many discarded ones that littered the floor, Hermione waved her wand and they all entered his bin in the corner of the room.

She saw the unshaven, unclean nature of Harry's face and sighed, sitting beside his sleeping body she placed a small hand on his cheek tenderly, feeling the hairs under her fingertips. It was curious to feel such a rough texture to his face that was not graze or some other kind of injury, it was calming.

"Harry…"

***

**Review? Maybe? Just one? Maybe two:P**


	8. Emerald and Gold

**Disclaimer: I do not own harry potter…..**

**oh an interpret harrys dream :P give me your opnion on it :P what on earth does it all mean?**

Harry was flying; he was astride his firebolt, speeding into the sky, toward the stars chasing the snitch. It was as if he was going to the leave this world, a bludger was on his tail and he dodged it quickly. The bludger suddenly disappeared and Harry smiled in the relief he suddenly felt. He was finally free. He kept following the snitch, but the snitch stopped and turned to him, the small golden ball started to expand and floating before him hovered Hermione's beautiful face.

The dream Hermione didn't speak, but her voice echoed in his ears.

"Harry… its time to wake up Harry… sweetheart…" the dream Hermione moved forward, floating through the air and pointed down, back to earth, where a small golden light was shining up at him, twinkling in the darkness, he smiled and turned plummeting to the ground.

Harry opened his eyes and found gold amber ones sparkling above him. He smiled smally and Hermione sighed in relief. She stroked his jaw line tenderly and Harry blinked several times, turning onto his back and rubbing his eyes. He sat up quickly, as if he finally recognised her. He carefully ran his fingers through his messy hair and Hermione smiled smally.

"You scared me for a moment Harry, I thought you weren't going to wake up." Hermione whispered and Harry reached forward and took her hand in his. "Well if you hadn't have woken up it would have been because of the stench of you! Harry when was the last time your skin came into contact with soap?" she teased and Harry laughed bringing her into his arms tightly forcing her nose into his chest.

Hermione yelped at first, but then his grip slackened and fell to her waist and she rested comfortably against him, stroking his bare chest fondly.

"For your information I had a shower last night." Harry stated proudly and Hermione laughed, she acknowledged the clean smell resonating from his bare skin.

"Since when have you had stubble?" Hermione asked gently looking into his eyes and stroking the hairs on his face curiously. He frowned slightly.

"Don't you like it?" he asked, needing her approval.

"Oh no Harry I don't like it, I adore it… its different but, very becoming of you, just promise me you will not grow a beard!" Hermione exclaimed and Harry laughed, sitting cross-legged across from Hermione, mimicking her actions so their knees touched.

"Good, because I was planning on keeping it… for a while at least." Harry whispered and Hermione felt as if all of the oxygen had been removed from her lungs. His eyes bore into hers and she bit her lip. "Why are you here Hermione?"

_That_ snapped her out of her thoughts. _Why am I here… um_, "because I wanted to check on you, no one had seen you since… since the argument Charlie walked in on… with you and Ginny." Hermione said tensely, no one knew what the argument was about. The bright light in Harry's eyes faded but Hermione didn't look away and Harry sighed and looked down to his hands, as if in shame or embarrassment.

" 'Mione, you have to understand… this is difficult for me… I just… I just don't…." he put his head in his hands and Hermione felt her heart break. She reached forward and cupped his face, bringing it up to face her. He seemed to regain confidence and he continued. "Ginevra… she was cheating on me… I think she has been for quite some time now. Charlie walked in just as she was about to… I walked out… I didn't let her deny it… I feel so worthless… I mean… why would she turn away… am I not good enough? Do I not have enough… do people only want me for my fame and money… Hermione… I can't do this anymore." She watched as his eyes grew dark in sadness and she felt a tear fall innocently down her cheek. Hermione had seen that darkness before, first, a flicker when Cedric was murdered, then a flash when Sirius fell through the veil, a slight lingering when Dumbledore fell from the astronomy tower and then a deep abyss which he had almost fallen into when Hermione herself had been tortured, all those years ago.

"No… Harry _I_ love you, just for you… I don't want to be here because you are rich… because you are famous, I just want to be here with you, just Harry. You are more than enough for… for me. Stay with me… I can't live without you." she sobbed and Harry reached forward and took her into a warm embrace. She wept against his shoulder and harry closed his eyes stroking her hair soothingly. He felt the tears dampen his chest and felt immeasurable love.

"Hermione… I… I am in love with you." Hermione looked up frowning slightly, confused. "I love you so much… I catch my breath when you walk in the room and smile at me… its crazy how much I think about you, you are in my thoughts constantly, like a record playing over and over again in my head. I can't live my life… knowing that I gave up on the one thing that I have always wanted the most… you." Hermione felt a warmth rise in her chest at his words.

She leaned forward and just as their lips were about to touch she closed her eyes as his lips descended upon hers. Hermione almost gasped at the sensation. His lips were warm against hers and she opened her mouth when his tongue teased her bottom lip. She finally gasped when his tongue moved methodically in her mouth. He leant back as she pushed against him, until she was laying on top of him, lips still locked in a seemingly unbreakable kiss.

Hermione broke away looking down at him with a heated gaze. She felt no fear, no doubt when she looked down at his tender face. She tore her blouse from her body and threw it to the ground, but Harry's eyes never left hers and Hermione blushed at the fact. Harry, as if to reassure her kissed her once more.

Hermione felt weightless when he pushed her onto her back, his body positioned between her legs. His hands felt hot against her skin as they travelled down to her skirt and gently pushed them down her hips, removing them completely with a quick tug. He brought his lips down to her neck and she moaned at the sensations his lips were giving that were sending an electrical current straight to her centre.

His mouth trailed to her cleavage and he kissed the exposed flesh before unhooking her bra and removing the obstruction. He met her eyes for a moment before taking one breast into his mouth, his hand massaging its partner. She let out a whimper when he abandoned her breasts, the sudden loss almost causing her to cry out in need. But then he moved down her stomach, trailing hot kisses down to the elastic of her underwear, she thought she would explode just from his kiss.

He stopped suddenly and looked up, bringing his face back to meet hers. his eyes were questioning, the darkness of his emerald irises showing his passion as well as his insistent arousal she could feel through his shorts.

"Hermione… if you want to stop… you should tell me now." Harry whispered and Hermione smiled.

"If I wanted you to stop, I would have told you so." She murmured and brought her lips to his, her hands pulling at the elastic of his boxer shorts. When they fell to the ground with the rest of her clothes he placed his hands on her hips, his thumbs beneath the elastic of her underwear. He slowly, almost torturously revealed her to himself, as if she was the most anticipated present he had ever received. Hermione blushed at the sudden exposure as he surveyed her, a small smile on his face. He brought his gaze to her eyes and brought her lips to his again.

She moaned into his mouth as he entered her slowly.

***

**AN ok ….skip the next chapter if you dont like... anything more serious then that....**

**and harrys dream? what are your thoughts on what its about? symbolic for? hidden messages?**

**Thanks for the reviews on the previous chapter! Tell me if you like this one… it was the scariest thing ever to write! Reviews would be nice :D**

**Caddy xox**


	9. Love me

**AN due to popular request :P and for my own entertainment I extended the scene from the previous chapter with my old original draft of it!**

**Sorry if it's not graphic enough for some of you but…. I didn't want to push the limits to far…. Um if you don't like this stuff I insist you read the end of this chapter, it is verrrryyyy important to plot !**

She moaned into his mouth as he entered her slowly, it was excruciating how slowly he spread her tight walls, she wrapped her legs around him and pushed him into her, completely to the hilt and she gasped when he hit her cervix, filling her completely.

Harry stopped savouring the connection, savouring the feeling of her hot, slick walls encompassing him. Hermione enjoyed the feeling of him buried deep inside of her, committing the feeling to memory, the belonging.

But their need for friction reached an almost painful level and she moved her hips slightly as if to tentatively coerce him into moving. Harry met her eyes suddenly and smirked, refusing to move. Hermione growled, a noise from the back of her throat that made her almost animalistic beneath him, harry liked how the sound called for him.

"What do you want from me Hermione?" he asked, almost out of breath, his words coming out in a deep cadence that shot straight to her core. She moved again and he closed his eyes at the slight friction she made.

Hermione spoke and simultaneously squeezed her walls tightly around him making him take a sharp breath. "Love me." she ordered and he brought his lips to hers in a furious kiss, a dominating one, Hermione realised he was searching for reassurance, to make sure that she loved him for him, not the fame.

He pulled himself out of her, almost completely and Hermione felt empty without him buried inside of her. But then he thrust into her, shifting her entire body a few inches up the bed, she felt a jolt of electricity in her abdomen as he rubbed against her engorged clit. He was meticulous in his ministrations, slow and methodical, but powerful at the same time.

She wondered how he managed to fill her so completely, every thrust hitting a previously undiscovered place deep inside of her which made her pleasure heighten to such a peak that she thought she might fall.

His pace had increased, as well as his urgency; Hermione was so close, so close to the edge she could feel her walls already begin to tighten around him.

And then it hit a massive wave of pleasure which extended to the very ends of her body, she let out a cry, an unhuman cry of ecstasy, her back arching into him, her eyes rolling to the back of her head.

Harry watched in amazement when she screamed, her walls clamped down on him hard, almost painfully so and when she looked deliriously up at him he was undone, his seed bursting into her, a heat that claimed her as his, a treasure no one could ever possess other than him.

He held himself over her, still buried deep within her searching her face. her eyes were still closed, her head to one side as she felt the last waves of her pleasure wash over her. Hermione opened her eyes and felt full, _he_ was still buried inside of her, she turned and looked up a smile suddenly gracing her features.

He reached forward and moved her hair from her wet forehead, she stroked his cheek tenderly and he kissed the inside of her palm.

"Don't ever leave me." he whispered and Hermione's eyes widened slightly at the raw emotion in his eyes, he was both pleading and ordering her and Hermione in a moment of stupor, nodded bringing his lips to hers for a tender kiss. "You are the only reason I still breathe."

***

_Luna._

_It's Hermione… I don't know how to say this to you but… well Harry and I… we made love yesterday morning and last night… and this morning…_

_It was the most exhilarating, fulfilling experience of my life… he actually loves me… truly does… im glad that he told me, but I haven't actually told him yet, I haven't exactly professed my love like… properly, maybe im afraid… I don't know… I left around lunch time and at the moment im sitting in the leaky cauldron, writing this to you._

_Im going to pop down to flourish and blotts and pick up a new book I have been meaning to get and of course as per usual the quibbler. _

_I have dinner at the Weasley's this Friday, a whole five days away and I have to wait for harry to get back! He's going on assignment for the next few days and I won't see him till then, I feel like its been years since I last saw him not just a few hours_

_Hoping to talk to you soon, by the way, you can let Draco and Blaise read this._

_Your friend, _

_Hermione._

Luna looked up when Draco exited the bathroom in all his glory, the gifts bestowed upon him glistening before her. Luna blinked several times to unfog her mind and once Draco had pulled on his boxers she beckoned him towards her, holding out the letter for him to read. Draco noticed the solemn look on her face and frowned, once he read the letter he was even more confused by her reaction.

"Luna… this is a good thing… they are together…what's wrong?" he asked and Luna placed her head in her hands a soft sob resonating in the room, Draco had never seen Luna display such a negative emotion, such raw sadness. He instinctively pulled her shaking body into his arms and kissed her forehead tenderly, rocking gently back and forth.

"She's pregnant." Luna whispered and Draco's eyes widened.

"It's a bit early to say Hermione's pregnant Luna." Draco said quietly and Luna sobbed harder.

"Not Hermione… _her_." Luna sobbed and took a deep calming breath looking up and meeting his stony gaze.

**AN**

**So….. Reviews maybe? Worried about anything…?**

**Scary cheating b**** comes to my mind…..**


	10. Drive me away

**AN ok ok ok… so you all seem concerned that harry and Hermione are going to die unhappy… hem this is a drama…. And this plot has A LOT of drama…. Do not fear… **

**But this is a lengthy story and I hate ginny so why would I ….sigh**

**Anyway… heres the story…**

Tears were streaming down her pale face, her red hair once so vibrant and lively, hang dank around her face. She reached out and tapped lightly on the large oak door. She heard a pan being placed on the stove and smiled, _typical mum_, but her smile vanished when another wave of nausea overcome her. The door sprung open and light flooded the porch, Molly Weasley was still in her night clothes, she had large bags under her half open eyes, Ginny looked to the clock and saw that it was just after three in the morning _shit._

Ginny felt her mother bring her into a tight embrace, in the process dragging the girl to the sitting room where she placed her down and cupped her face with her hands, wiping away the stray tears that fell from her eyes.

"Ginny darling what's wrong?" molly asked in her motherly voice that made Ginny cry harder. She saw the crease in her mother's brow and took a deep breath willing herself to be calm. She opened her mouth to speak but then she heard the creak of a floorboard and looked up, Arthur Weasley stood in the doorway looking on a concerned look on his tired face.

"Daddy." Ginny choked out and ran into his arms, burying her face in his chest, she knew that her parents were exchanging confused glances but she didn't care. "D-daddy… I'm p-pr-pregnant." She stuttered and Arthur froze in shock. He held her shoulders gently and pushed her away from him, meeting her eyes with a concerned gaze.

"Where is Harry?" were the first words that escaped his mouth, _not how are you Ginny or what's wrong, always Harry, where's Harry, what's Harry doing… Harry, Harry, Harry!_ Arthur must have noted her change in expression and swallowed.

"He is on assignment… he won't want me…"

"How can you say that?" molly exclaimed and Ginny turned, wrenching herself from her fathers grasp.

"Because…before Charlie walked in a few weeks ago harry was going to break up with me." Ginny bowed her head in shame at the memory.

"How far along are you darling?" Arthur asked gently and Ginny sighed.

"About three months, im just beginning to show." Ginny mumbled and molly smiled broadly.

"Ginny I am sure Harry hadn't meant what he said and he will make an honest woman of you! He is not a man to shy away from responsibility."

Ginny swallowed, _one problem mother… I have absolutely no idea who the father is._

***

Harry looked down at the letter again written in molly's usually neat writing, _emergency, what kind of emergency?_ He swallowed suddenly at the thought that someone could be hurt or worse…_dead_. He reached the burrow and to his surprise all of the lights in the house were on, it was early not even five o'clock yet, the sun was just beginning to come over the horizon. He entered the old house without knocking and found himself standing in the doorway the _entire_ Weasley family sitting around the table, Ginny sat at the other end of the table, her head bowed, a steady flow of tears running down her face.

Harry frowned. Dinner was at the burrow tomorrow night, what did they need him here for?

"Harry…have a seat." Mrs. Weasley said sharply and Harry's eyes widened, he had never heard her speak that way to him before. He sat down heavily and noticed all the Weasley men were looking at him either curiously or sadly.

"What's wrong?" Harry asked and Ginny looked up and she looked pleadingly at him, her dark eyes begging him for mercy. Harry frowned and looked once more to Molly whom had opened her mouth to speak.

"When are you going to make an honest woman of my daughter? You deflowered her before your wedding date and now she's pregnant! And showing too!" Molly suddenly burst and Harry looked back at Ginny pure disgust on his face.

"Is it mine?" he asked suddenly and sharply and the entire family started murmuring in disbelief. "Ginevra… is-it-mine?" he asked more clearly and Ginny for once didn't have a sweet smile to give him, an excuse.

"Of course it is yours Harry, how dare you talk about my daughter like that!" Harry realised he had hit a nerve with the Weasley matron but he held his gaze with the youngest Weasley.

"Yes." Ginny whispered and Harry placed his head in his hands.

"Harry we really need to have the wedding as soon as possible, I can't have my daughter…" Molly trailed off at the morose look on Harry's face, he looked so empty.

"Yes." He had said constantly that morning, allowing the Weasley's whatever they wanted, if he was responsible for that child in her belly then he could not abandon it.

But one thought kept resonating in his mind over and over again.

_Hermione._ When Harry stood to leave he noticed the concerned look on Molly's face. He produced a fake smile and apparated away as soon as he could.

***

Hermione was practically jumping for joy when she reached the Burrow, a large smile plastered on her face. She entered the old house and was greeted warmly by all present, but none of them was the one she wanted to see the most. She cradled her cup of tea and entered the sitting room.

Ginny was sitting in a very subdued manner in the corner of the sitting room and Hermione decided to approach her.

Ginny looked up when she saw the concerned face of Hermione Granger above her.

"Hello Ginny, what's wrong?" Hermione asked as kindly as she could.

"Hi Hermione… I'm pregnant." Hermione's answer was the loud shattering of glass and a high pitched voice asking.

"WHAT?"

***

**AN reviews? Maybe? **

**Im thinking of starting a poll… on the whole pregnancy…. **


	11. Duty to thy heart

**AN okay everyone! Poll is up! Please give me your opinion :D and your thoughts!**

**Anyway back to the chapter**

Ginny looked up suddenly and met her honey eyes which held such a severe pain that Ginny had to look away, the intensity too much for her already troubled mind to handle.

"I'm pregnant… with Harry's child; we are getting married in a month, before my stomach gets completely out of control." Ginny said plainly and Hermione's hands began to tremble, her heart seemed to blacken, the coldness flowing into her veins, slowly, torturously killing her. Ginny looked up when Hermione didn't answer and frowned darkly at her. "What is it?" she spat accusingly and Hermione blinked away the tears threatening to fall.

"Oh, nothing! Congratulations… I am so… so happy for you." she whispered and stood, flashing a smile that Hermione suspected Ginny could see straight through. She ran her shaking fingers through her soft curls and exited the room, walking directly to the large kitchen table and bending over it, head in her cold hands. She opened her eyes and stared at the texture of the table. She saw several indentations and stains, she was sure they had several fond memories attached to them. She reached down and traced the outline of coffee mug with her finger, smiling smally, a tear falling onto the dark wood, another memory added to its wooden face.

She heard the floo sound in the living room and stood quickly, straightening her clothing. And there staring at her was the sullen face of the man she was in love with. He moved forward, his hands reached forward as if to touch her, but she moved away shaking her head and exited through the back door, wiping furiously at the tears falling down her face.

Harry ran forward and wrenched her wrist back; she gasped in pain and met his intense gaze. She tried to pull away from him, escape his grasp but he wouldn't surrender, his grasp dominant and demanding.

"What do you want from me?" Hermione spat and Harry looked down at her, confusion flickered through his features before realisation and then sorrow. His grip slackened but remained and Hermione felt more tears fall down her face.

"You." He said in a firm voice and Hermione rolled her eyes.

"As what? Your whore? An easy fuck when you _wife_ is pregnant?" Hermione trembled as she spoke and Harry growled.

"What do you expect of me! If she I carrying my child I have to take responsibility for it! What else would you have be do, it's my duty!" he exclaimed and Hermione flinched.

Her face softened and she reached forward and placed her hand on his face. "And what of you duty to your heart?" harry took a step back releasing his hold on her.

"I have no duty to my _heart_…"

"And what of me?" she squeaked and he looked away to hide his wounded expression.

"I have nothing for you now." He said and Hermione reached forward and grasped his shirt forcing him to look at her. But his eyes refused to meet hers.

"What are you talking about? Why are you doing this? Why aren't you… don't you love me?" she whispered and moved her head to try and meet his gaze. He finally looked up and met her powerful gaze; his face was stony, emotionless.

"I never loved you. You should go." Harry stated and turned away from her his head bowed as he entered the house and then disappeared, from her vision, her life, her heart.

"I will always love you." she sobbed and apparated to the one place she could ever imagine would accept her no matter what.

She looked up at the large gates and smiled smally at the old building, the castle that had accepted a mis-fit know-it-all with no friends, bushy hair and buck teeth.

She entered the school grounds and smiled at the way the moonlight flickered over its many turrets and towers, casting an eerie glow around it. She immediately walked to the large white tomb she saw next to the lake, her heart like a heavy weight in her chest, dragging her deeper and deeper into the dark abyss that was now her life.

She ran her fingers over the cool surface, her wand twirling through her fingers. She stared out onto the rippling blanket of water and smiled as the squid splashed water playfully. And then the tentacles froze as if sensing her presence and what she was about to do.

***

"Minerva! Minerva!" Albus Dumbledore's voice yelled through the halls and carried down to the Great Hall where the headmistress was seated, looking over the student body appraisingly. The elderly woman looked up suddenly, fear covering her features. She stood and the hall grew silent. "Hermione!" Minerva ran from the hall, many members of staff following her out, through the large doors and into the grounds, where next to the tomb of Albus Dumbledore, a crumpled figure, only just visible in the silvery moonlight that lit up her pale skin.

The stars were reflected in her wide, black eyes and McGonagall leaned over her one time student, now friend and felt a sob wrack through her body, a shrill cry that filled the grounds with unmeasurable horror and sadness.

The mood of the castle was bleak, the life slowly weakening like the heart beat inside Hermione Grangers chest.

**AN ok…. Now do not kill me for this ok? I know it may be a little out of character but it has to be explained ok? Then you will totally understand that Hermione isnt trying anything stupid…… on purpose. Trust me :P**

**Anyway, might not update for a while…things to do… people to meet. Ill update Saturday….promise :P**


	12. Bereavement of the heart

**AN I do not own harry potter or make a profit or anything….**

**Sorry for the wait!**

Coldness. Deep immeasurable sadness. He had succeeded, he had broken her heart. He loved her enough to let her go, she needed to let go of him. He sat and only half listened to the happy banter between the Weasley women, _weddings _he thought aimlessly _I am not happy, this will not be the happiest day of my life… Hermione has already claimed that day._ He nodded pointlessly when Molly showed him a seating chart. He didn't really care, nothing mattered any more.

"Where will Hermione sit?" Molly asked and noticed Harry's posture stiffen and Ginny's face darken.

"I doubt Hermione will attend." Harry whispered and Molly frowned.

"Well we should send an invitation anyway." Molly dismissed their protests and Harry sighed holding the bridge of his nose in pain, _great a headache._

***

Light. Cold and piercing. It pained her eyes to let the whiteness invade her senses. She blinked several times and a familiar scent reached her nostrils. She sat upright and immediately clutched her chest in agony, immediately collapsing back onto the warm sheets below her. Her eyelids felt heavy, the sudden pain now a simple dull throbbing deep inside of her.

The light began to fade once more and she welcomed the slumber which was about to engulf her.

"Hermione?" Hermione frowned and squinted up at the concerned face above her. Deep lines were etched along her face, shadows cast angrily around her eyes in the harsh light.

"Hermione? Oh please be awake." The usually strong voice had a slight tremble to it and her eyes were forced open by curiosity.

_Minerva McGonagall_, Hermione thought and a small smile graced her features.

She tried once more to sit up and gasped in pain. She touched the bandage around her chest curiously and Minerva immediately assisted her into a sitting position.

She was surprised when her mentor didn't stop her from removing the bandages to inspect the damage she believed would be there. Nothing, soft subtle skin, no scar, no blemish, she touched just above her heart and gasped at the temperature of her skin.

"Minnie… what is wrong with me?" Hermione asked the coldness of her heart was painful, but oddly comforting. Minerva sat down beside her bed and closed her eyes for a moment, her brow furrowed as if in deep thought. When she looked once more to Hermione, she no twinkling green eyes looking at her in happiness, but dark, sombre pools of heart ache.

"I am so glad you are finally awake." Minerva whispered and Hermione frowned.

"How… how long have I been… I remember coming here and standing next to Dumbledore's tomb…" she trailed off, frowning, her memory of that moment failed her and this brought fear to her icy heart.

"That, my dear was a month ago. You have been in a deep sleep, we needed to keep you under our observation, rather than anyone else's, I thought that Poppy's expertise would… oh my dear… you must be wondering what is wrong…" the elderly woman took a deep breath, her eyes filled with an emotion Hermione didn't recognise. "You have suffered the ultimate sacrifice for love. You felt so much pain that night, so much sorrow that your magic, your wand, in an attempt to protect you, created a barrier around your heart, one that cannot be broken, unless you yourself elect to let love in." Hermione's eyes widened in realisation.

"The lovers bereavement, I am suffering from _that!_ That is impossible, my magic would never go against my own will unless it thought harm would come…" she trailed off and looked away from Minerva's knowing gaze.

"And when you came here that night… I imagine it was not to visit _me_." Hermione looked back, tears threatening to fall. "When Harry broke your heart… your bond was one that was connected by an old magic, if one broke the bond, the other would perish into a deep depression… no one on record has _ever_ survived… until now." She absentmindedly placed a hand over her chest and closed her eyes, her body already becoming accustomed to the coolness under her fingertips.

"Perhaps I should explain… but somehow I think you already know everything that went between harry and I?" Hermione said with one eyebrow raised. Minerva's eyes twinkled, a twinkle she had inherited from Dumbledore. "Will I ever be able to… love another?"

"I think you know the answer to that question my dear."

"My sacrifice is love… I will never know true happiness." Hermione whispered and reached for her wand that had a faint glow encompassing it. "I forgive you." Hermione whispered and the thin wood grew warm in her hand.

"Your wand not only saved you my dear." Minerva looked as if she were about to continue when someone burst through the infirmary's doors. A young woman with strikingly bright blue eyes and long, straight brown hair looked around blearily before her eyes fell upon the two occupants of the room. A squeal emitted from her throat and she sprinted forward, engulfing Hermione in her arms.

"Elizabeth?" the beautiful teenager pulled away and smiled brightly her blue eyes shining in happiness.

"Hey cuz!" her American accent seemed quite out of place in Hogwarts, but Hermione smiled and looked around for the headmistress, whom had disappeared to Hermione's dismay.

Elizabeth was Hermione's only magical relative, she was Hermione's second cousin on her fathers side. Unlike Hermione she was a half-blood, beautiful and an adventurist, Hermione had envied her at certain times in their youth.

"Liz… how long are you going to be in England for?" Hermione asked suddenly, her eyes bright.

"Oh I'm only here today, I had to beg mum to let me have a day off school! Did you hear, I'm moving out this summer!" Hermione's smile suddenly broadened.

"Can I come with you?"

"Where?" the young girl frowned and Hermione smiled smally.

"To America."

***

**AN okay…. **

**A new character to add into the swing of things! The lovers bereavement will be explained in later chapters if it isnt clear here. **

**Elizabeth is quite important to the plot. Anyway sorry that all my chapters are short its just studying takes up a lot of time!**

**Anyway… review? **


	13. To let you go

She glared furiously at the bulge of her stomach that was protruding noticeably out of her white gown. Ginny Weasley wore a long floor length wedding dress, the dress hugged every one of her curves and regrettably, in her opinion, her baby's curve.

She nervously flattened her silk dress over her stomach and sighed, resigned to her fate. Her hair was flowing gently around her shoulders, everyone thought she was beautiful, but most importantly, Ginny _knew_ she was. She looked out of her childhood window to the scene before her. _A typical Weasley wedding in the backyard, please…_ she growled and turned back to her full length mirror, appraising herself.

***

'And welcome back to our coverage of the Potter wedding. Now rumours still persist over Hermione Grangers strange disappearance a month ago, with the key theories based heavily around Hogwarts School… Minerva McGonagall herself is labelled as one privy to the knowledge of where she has gone and most importantly why… now today we will wait and see if she shows up, she and Harry Potter are the only survivors of the golden trio, Ron Weasley….' Harry tuned out of the wizarding wireless immediately and ran his fingers through his untamed hair. Ginny had forced him to shave off his fully fledged goatee, professing she would not have her future husband looking like an animal _or was it beast?_

He straightened his white tie nervously and flattened his beige pants. He looked into his mirror once more and saw dark eyes looking back at him; he knew he would fail miserably if he tried to brighten the deadened lights that once shone so brightly.

He exited the Weasley home and walked to the end of the aisle, greeting people as he passed with false merriment. When he reached Minerva he froze and she looked up at him with twinkling eyes. He frowned slightly when she stood and embraced him, as a mother would to his son, she seemed… pleased.

"Professor.. I'm glad you could make it… do you know if she…. is coming?" Harry asked nervously and Minerva chuckled.

"Do not fear Harry, your day shall go as planned." At this she sat down and pulled out a sherbet lemon, another habit she had gained from Dumbledore. He nodded smiling and joined Kingsley at the white alter, decorated so extravagantly he had to fight not to gag. Kingsley smiled warmly and Harry tried to return it, but failed once more. He looked down the aisle and imagined Hermione drifting elegantly down it, her eyes alight in happiness, the music had begun and she was walking towards him, finally to be his.

He smiled broadly as Ginny walked down the aisle, his eyes in a distant place, dreaming of a certain brunette. Ginny felt relief wash over her as he smiled so truly at her, finally he loved her again.

When she reached the alter, her hair morphed into a deep red, her eyes had darkened and her skin paled. Ginny stood before him, pregnant belly and all. It was December; the grounds were glowing as white as Ginny's dress. Harry's smile faltered as he took her hand from Arthurs and they turned to face Kingsley.

Harry drifted off his mind fluttering between memories, Hermione's face as an eleven foot mountain troll loomed above her, her petrified body in their second year, her fist flying into Malfoy's jaw, her gracious smile as she entered the great hall in that blue dress, her face of shock when she fell, her tears at Dumbledore's funeral, her screams as she was tortured, her comforting embrace, her emotive glances, her encouragement, her love… Hermione.

He felt Ginny freeze under his fingertips as Kingsley said the word _objections_. Harry turned to Ginny a questioning look on his face, but she was neither looking at him or Kingsley, her eyes were fixated on the back of the audience, in the centre of the aisle, stood none other than Hermione Granger herself.

Her short red dress shone in the white surroundings, her hair was longer than Harry remembered and was moving gently in the nonexistent wind. She stepped forward, her long shapely legs accentuated by the high red heels she wore.

Harry's jaw had dropped in shock and then awe. Hermione stopped, her figure in line with the second last row. The crowd of onlookers turned and gasped at the beautiful woman before them, no woman was supposed to be more beautiful than the bride herself. Harry dropped Ginny's hands and walked slowly towards the enchanting woman in red.

Her face was unreadable, a cool glow was radiating off of her, but her face seemed to be alight with warmth. Harry stopped a meter from her and smiled smally.

"Hermione… you didn't answer my letter… where have you been?" he asked accusingly, not bothering to register the fact that the entire wizarding world would be listening at that precise moment. She met his eyes and he felt a stab of pain, deep inside his chest.

"I have been… extremely ill, Minerva saved my life." Harry immediately took a step forward, examining her for some kind of injury. "I have come to wish you congratulations… I am so happy for you… and so proud…" he heard her voice break under the strain she seemed to be under, keeping her emotions under control.

"Hermione I-"

She placed a finger to his lips gently and he closed his eyes, the warmth of her touch comforting. "I feel it is time I must leave… I need to find myself… I need to let you go Harry… I have nothing left here… and I wanted to say goodbye… and I wish you all the happiness and love in the world…" she reached forward and straightened his tie fondly. "I will always love you." she whispered and released him taking a step back and withdrawing her wand delicately from thin air. With a small flick a sealed letter appeared in his breast pocket. And then she raised her wand before her and smiled smally, a single tear rolling down her face.

"Go get married Harry."

***

**AN reviews? Your thoughts on what shall happen? What it all means?**

**repost notes:**

**i posted this chapter... and then about an hour later received a review for my first chapter.. the person had obviously... hated my story and requested it be deleted... well thats it in nice terms... **

**i mean i dont mind constructive criticism... but... i dont know if its worth doing this anymore.**


	14. When Emerald met Honey

A single snow flake descended from the pale sky, its intricacy protected by the cool wind that caressed it. Falling, ever so slowly, towards its fate, a smooth cheek, warmth radiating from it. The hot surface burned and melted away the precious beauty that had once existed, for a moment, one precious moment.

Ginny furiously wiped away the melted snow from her face. She watched on as Hermione raised her wand to the sky and smiled. Gold light erupted from the tip of her wand and slowly encompassed her and for a moment time slowed as she watched the light wither and die.

And then she was gone.

Ginny smiled.

He was finally _hers_.

***

Andrew James was born on the tenth of May two months before Harry's twenty second birthday.

Harry entered the room just as the nurse was finishing cleaning the new born. Ginny had collapsed from exhaustion and Harry moved towards the witch looking over her shoulder.

Andrew had smooth chocolaty skin; his eyes were a deep brown, just like his fathers. Harry froze for a moment, his features stony, he took a deep breath as the nurse handed him the child, a sad smile on her face. He smiled smally to her and she left, giving him some time alone with the boy.

"Hello Andrew, you look a lot like your father don't you…. but you have your mother's mouth and… her nose." Harry chuckled and the baby boy reached out and placed both of his small hands around Harry's forefinger. "Aren't you a handsome boy?" Harry cooed and heard a gasp sound from behind him. He turned and looked blankly at his _wife_ whom sat bolt up right her hair stuck to her face, her eyes tired.

"How are you feeling Ginny?" he asked calmly and noticed she looked utterly terrified, her eyes kept darting from her son, to his hands, then Harry's face, as if afraid of what Harry might do. Ginny opened her mouth to speak, but words failed her as he moved slowly towards her, _her _son now asleep in _his_ arms. Harry handed Andrew to his mother gently; the young woman smiled smally at the child and then looked up at Harry, tears in her eyes. "You realise now… don't you." Harry whispered and Ginny nodded and a single droplet, not unlike the snow flake that had dared touch her face all those months ago, dribbled down her face.

He moved forward and gently kissed it away, his mouth not lingering on her cheek as it would have done when they were teenagers.

He decided to leave the room; Andrew deserved a happy mother… at least until Harry had his say.

As he wandered into the white hall he spotted Dean, whom seemed to be talking to himself. Harry smiled at the man and placed a friendly hand on his shoulder. Dean turned suddenly and cowered when he saw Harry before him. Harry sighed and ran his fingers through his hair.

"You should go meet your son Dean." Harry murmured and Dean's eyes widened in shock. Harry nodded once and then headed for the silver elevator, a sad smile on his face.

"Harry!" harry stopped and turned, one foot inside the elevator. "Thankyou and I'm … sorry." Harry nodded and sighed.

"Look after her Dean… she does love you." and he left, passed the waiting Weasley family whom had not seen the newest edition yet. Mrs. Weasley tried to get his attention but he merely shook his head and left.

The breeze was cool, for a summer day. He drew his light cloak closer to his body and walked forward, withdrawing his wand and apparating on the spot.

Their before him, was Godric's Hollow, the warm glow that once surrounded it, seemed to have disappeared now, Hermione had left, almost six months ago now, she wasn't coming back.

He had ruined his life and hers, more than he would ever know.

***

She was born prematurely on the 22nd of August. As she opened her eyes slowly, she saw the smiling face of her mother; tears were rolling heavily down her rosy cheeks, her brown hair tied loosely at the nape of her neck. Her dark, honey coloured eyes shining in the dim were the brightest thing in the room and she reached out and touched her mothers face, feeling the soft, yet wet texture.

Emerald met honey and Hermione Granger let out a small, heart breaking sob.

***

Harry sat down heavily in the middle of what was once _her _lounge room, there were blank silhouettes scattered around the house where _her_ things had been. He looked around the blue room and sighed heavily, withdrawing a sealed letter from his black jacket. He stroked the familiar hand writing that simply stated one thing, _harry_.

He turned the letter over and smiled when he saw the Hogwarts crest imprinted on the wax seal. He carefully opened the letter and removed the carefully folded parchment, his heart wrenching as he did so.

He ran his hands over the folded parchment tenderly before opening it and swallowed his tears. And for the first time, he read the letter, the only thing _she_ had left him with, other than an empty house and frozen heart.

_Harry._

_By the time you read this I will most likely be gone and you will be a proud father and husband. ._

_I told you before that I couldn't share you and if I can't have you… I have to leave. Leave for probably a long time… what we shared together… I will never forget it; it will always remain with me._

_I truly do love you. _

_But I cannot watch you marry someone else… be the father of someone else's children. _

_Forgive me Harry, but I must go. I love you enough to let you go. You deserve happiness and I hope you have found it._

_Now smile and love, let go of the memory of me and embrace your life, I am nothing but a page in your life, a simple page that can be torn and thrown away into the cold darkness of the night._

_You are my best friend and I will always love you._

_Yours, forever and always,_

_Hermione._

It had been two months since the birth of little Andrew James. Ginny had moved in with Dean, to escape her families disdain. Harry stood and exited the house, he apparated, he didn't really know where he wanted to go, but he landed at the burrow.

He walked up the cool stone path and heard the normal sounds of the home, small feet pattering, adults conversing and laughing. He knocked on the back door and looked up when light and warmth bombarded his senses. In the doorway stood the figure of Molly Weasley, the Weasley matriarch now had tears streaming down her face and she pulled him in for a bone crushing hug.

"Oh I am so... So sorry." She sobbed over and over again. Harry merely patted her back gently and she released him. He nodded once and entered the once familiar, now somewhat alien house. He saw the entire family at the table; Ginny sat nursing her son, smiling down at him. Dean sat close by, his eyes tired, yet full of joy.

Silence filled the room and they all turned and stared at him in shock. He had been avoiding every member of the family since Andrew had been born, he scratched his unshaven chin awkwardly before Arthur stood and beckoned him closer.

"I'm sorry to interrupt, I just… wanted to apologize for not speaking to you for so long… I …" he trailed off and ran his hands through his unkempt hair.

"No Harry, it is we who are at fault." Charlie offered and a sea of red nodded, smiling apologetically. Harry nodded slowly, his face still blank.

"I was hoping to get Ginny to sign these papers… so that this can all be set right." Harry finally felt anger boil in his veins and his breathing became rapid. "You hadn't taken enough from me had you?" Harry asked and the room grew deathly silent. "You took my virginity, I knew you weren't a virgin… not nearly one, you had slept with half my year." Harry begun quietly and Mr. Weasley choked on his water. "And then you take all these years of my life away from me, sucking the life from me, leeching onto me. And I put up with it, the world expected it of us, of me; I did it in honour of Ron… then the affairs… I dealt with that… I dealt with the affairs all of them. Don't think I didn't know before… _this_." He spat indicating the child in her arms.

"But no… as if you hadn't taken enough, you took the one thing I ever cared about… the one person who ever loved me for me… the one person I love with all my heart… and you took her away. I am nothing… I have nothing now." Harry felt a tear fall down his cheek and he motioned to the letter that was gripped tightly in his right hand.

"Harry… I was so confused… I didn't-" Ginny begun and Harry shook his head furiously.

"No… no excuses anymore, I can't listen… I need her back Ginny… I need to feel her in my arms… I need her… she's not coming back to me…after what I... what we did to her." and he fell to his knees, a broken shell of what he once was. He didn't register when Ginny knelt before him and wrapped her arms tightly around him, tears streaming down her face. He let the letter fall to the floor as he handed her the papers which would end their marriage, the marriage that they never should have gone into in the first place.

Molly stooped down and let out a small noise when she saw Hermione's hand writing.

"Hermione… oh my precious child…"

***

**AN I'm back.**


	15. Shall we return to my pain?

Five years later.

She ran a hand through her long blonde waves. A four year old girl stood beside her, her raven black hair gleaming in the morning sun. The girl turned and flashed a smile, her emerald green eyes lit up in merriment. Hermione Granger smiled, feeling a slight pang in her heart as she watched those green eyes. The coldness had remained, even though her heart had warmed when her daughter had been born.

The dull throbbing would linger, for ever more.

Emerald Lillian Granger ran happily, with her companion Max running excitedly beside her. The golden retriever crouched low on the ground, watching the ball in Emerald's hand intently.

Hermione sat down gracefully on the dark green park bench and smiled smally as her daughter ran forward, throwing her ball as far as her small arms could. She looked a lot like herself, Hermione had devised, she had Hermione's heart shaped face, full red lips and small hands. But the resemblance to _him_ was remarkable, she could never return to England, not with Emmy having his signature black hair and green eyes_. _

Hermione felt her eyes suddenly water as she thought of the man she had left behind, he could be just like Hermione was at that moment, watching his child play in the local park. Ginny would be smiling and the child with bright green eyes and dark red hair would grin, a smile so much like _his._

She took a deep breath sitting up straight and poised. Hermione sat like this for what seemed like an eternity, staying completely motionless, her eyes never straying from her daughter, hand in the pocket of her white muggle coat, grasping her wand tightly. The trees surrounding her were full of crimsons and yellows, browns and oranges, she sighed in the autumn air and brought her hand to her face, rubbing her tired, golden, honey eyes.

A small, tentative hand rested on her knee and Hermione jumped slightly at the sudden sensation. Hermione smiled smally down at Emerald whom looked up at her curiously, a small knowing look in her eyes.

"Mummy? What's wrong?" she said in a serious voice, Hermione chuckled, she sounded so much like her father when she did that. Hermione reached forward and stroked her smooth wavy hair _thank goodness its tamed._

"I'm fine sweetheart, just thinking a bit too much." Hermione answered with a smile which she hoped would make Emerald bored.

But to her dismay, the girl's curiosity only grew. "About England?" she asked carefully, pronouncing each syllable slowly. Hermione's eyes widened for a moment, before she put her mask back in place.

"No, I just went into my own world for a moment-"

"Oh… protective mode." Hermione snorted in laughter at her daughter's disappointed expression.

"I guess you could call it that Emmy." Hermione said as she stroked Max's head.

Emerald frowned and bit her lower lip, like Hermione did when she was in deep thought. Hermione smiled smally and waited.

"You know I was born in England." She whispered and Hermione let out a small laugh.

"Of course I know sweetheart, I did give birth to you." Hermione chuckled and watched her daughter raise an eyebrow at her. Hermione smiled and nodded to signal for her to continue.

"Well can we go back?" she said the words so fast that Hermione took a moment to register them. Hermione froze, feeling a deep chill emit from her heart. She placed a hand to her chest as Emerald continued shyly. "I want to see my grand parents… and the Weezbys… weezels…"

"Weasley's." Hermione said slowly and Emerald nodded quickly.

"Yes that's what I said… mum… why don't I have a dad…" Hermione expression suddenly darkened and horror was painted across her features. Despite her mother's obvious discomfort Emerald continued. "I mean… the other kids at school don't understand why I don't have a dad… neither do I!" she exclaimed suddenly and Hermione offered her hand which Emerald slipped her own into.

"I mean… I must have a dad… I can't… not have one… can I?" she asked, suddenly worried as Hermione placed her in the back of the black four wheel drive.

"Seatbelt." Hermione whispered and closed the door behind max.

She sat in the driver's seat and started the engine and turned to see her daughter's worried expression.

"Yes you do have a father." Hermione whispered and watched her shoulders relax. Hermione reversed out of the drive and onto the main road.

"Is he in England?" Emerald asked and Hermione let out a low growl.

"Yes." Hermione said crisply and Emerald opened her mouth to speak. But Hermione spoke first; putting to a halt the barrage of questions she was sure would escape her little mouth.

"I know you want to know things… I think I should tell you… but don't expect to understand it fully, it's quite complicated… adult business." Hermione spoke carefully as she passed tree after tree after tree on the long straight road.

It was a Saturday, Hermione's favourite day of the week, for one she wasn't working at the local magical hospital and two she could spend the entire day and Sunday with her daughter. This however was not on her agenda for a pleasant weekend.

Emerald had sat back as if about to be read a bedtime story "… as you know I had two best friends in school, Ron Weasley and Harry Potter. Ron sadly died when we were younger… Harry and I went on and I found myself slowly falling in love with him. But Harry was expected to be with Ginny Weasley, Ron's sister, by everyone." Hermione paused when she felt a knot form in her throat.

"I encouraged Harry to take the next step, ignoring my feelings for him and wishing only for his happiness… later during the engagement Harry… called it off… or I thought he had." She trained her eyes to the road biting her lip. "Harry told me he loved me and I was so happy… so very happy. That's when we made love." Hermione hated the tears that began to fall down her face, her resolve breaking.

Emerald nodded taking in the new information like a sponge. "The next time I saw Harry, I found out that he was still engaged to Ginny and she was pregnant with his child. Now I had become very sick around this time and the next and last time I saw Harry was on his wedding day. I let him go that day." Hermione paused and looked quickly at the small girl in the backseat, dogs head in her lap. _I shouldn't be telling her this._ Hermione thought and then sighed when her daughter asked what happened next.

"Well I decided that I would move to America… but then I wanted to wait until Lizzie was out of school… so I travelled around England for a while and it was during this time that I found out of the little treasure I had." Emeralds eyes lit up in excitement and Hermione chuckled.

"What treasure?"

"You." Emerald leant back in her seat and waited for her to continue. "Don't ever think that I don't cherish you and love you with all my heart, and don't think your father, if he had a chance to know you would not love you as much as I do." Hermione stated firmly and Emerald merely nodded.

"Why can't we tell him about me?" the car stopped, they had pulled into Hermione's driveway. Hermione turned around in her seat and stared intently at Emerald for a moment.

"Do you truly want to go?" Hermione asked and knew that her daughter could see the anguish in her eyes at the thought; she had buried that part of her life five years ago and had no real intent on going back.

"I think… I need to…" Emerald paused and looked at her mother for a moment, those all too familiar eyes piercing into her soul. "And you do too."

_What am I supposed to say to that? That England brings back my worst memories? That I can't go back or this pain in my chest will kill me? That I cannot see what my life could have been, if my name was Ginny Weasley?_

_I can't go back… it hurts too much._

"Please." The simple word escaped the small girl's lips and Hermione closed her eyes.

"Okay."

***

Harry potter sighed, running his fingers through his typically messy black hair. He stroked his short beard thoughtfully and knew everyone hated it, but he refused to shave it off, he would not let anyone tell him what to do again, how to behave, who to love.

That hadn't gotten him very far in life and he didn't plan on ever letting anyone make him lose something so precious again. It had been five years since Hermione had left, with a simple letter resigning herself to the fate of being the _other_ woman. Harry only wished he could have known…. he was completely lost, completely and utterly deadened inside without her by his side.

He looked up when a beautiful young woman with long blonde hair and dreamy eyes skipped into his office, a four year old boy by the name of Leonardis clutching her hand. Luna Malfoy smiled warmly at him, her large protruding belly threatening to show from under her shirt.

Harry stood and laughed when Leo embraced his legs tightly. "It's good to see you too." Harry chuckled and Leo went behind his large darkly stained desk to sit in his leather chair.

"Harry." Luna said in her typical mystical way.

"Luna." Harry replied smiling. "It's been too long."

"Yes, two months to be precise, where have you been?" Luna questioned, careful to keep her tone even, to not disturb Leo.

"Busy." Harry stated quickly averting his gaze from her knowing eyes.

"Busy? With?" She asked smiling and Harry sighed removing his glasses and placing them on his cluttered desk.

"Work…"

"Memories…" Luna whispered.

"Pain." Harry said and looked at Luna's blurred figure solemnly.

She reached out and touched his arm fondly, she seemed to be trying to convey something to him, but he didn't know what.

"Do not worry Harry… you will be okay… sooner rather than later." Luna said in her dreamy voice and called to her son who waved to him, making him promise to visit them soon.

Harry sat down heavily at his desk and frowned, _Luna is always so confusing… Hermione could always understand her... or seemed to… why cant I? Am I not an auror? Am I not harry potter?... don't use that shite, that is ridiculous, just because you have a famous name… well because you are famous, does not give you- oh shuttup…_

He groaned and his head hit his desk. Hard.

"Hermione… come back." he whispered into the hard wood, his heart drowning in sorrow.

***

**AN:I wont be near a computer for the next four days… apologies… holiday with friends… anyway I will be back Friday and will try and update as late as Saturday (26****th****) as its Monday today……. Anyway..**

**Thanks for the reviews, they are appreciated… I will tie up any loose ends in the chapters to come.**

**Thanks… caddy**.


	16. Forlorn

**AN disclaimer: i do not own harry potter etc etc**

**cause i was away so long i decided a longer chapter might be better then a short one... so yea i had lots of fun! good to be back though writing!**

**anyway....**

Hermione felt her heart pang at the declaration. _I'm going back._ She sat motionless in the car, not daring to move, out of fear that the enormity of the situation would override her common sense.

A blast of cool air washed over her face and her body leapt into action, wand drawn, eyes alight. Lizzie stood before her, frowning slightly, Hermione's wand still pressing firmly into her throat. Hermione slowly lowered her hand and rested her head on the steering wheel with a soft thud.

"Hermione… what's wrong?" Hermione shook her head and the younger woman turned to Emerald whom was seated in the back seat. She saw Lizzie smile quickly then open the back door, Max bounding up towards the house, Emerald, rather reluctantly, in tow.

"What happened?" she inquired again, a slight edge to her smooth voice. Hermione looked up into large blue orbs of concern and felt her resolve break. She stood from the car and looked to the ground, then her eyes travelled up to the single story house before her with its large blue shutters. The front door was ajar and Emerald could just be seen looking out curiously.

The door slamming behind her snapped her out of her thoughts and a concerned Lizzie stood before her, her long brown hair flowing in the breeze that was chilling Hermione to her already frozen heart.

"Hermione… what's wrong?"

She wasn't going to give up and in truth Hermione didn't want her too, there was no point, Hermione needed to tell her, sooner rather than later.

"Emerald and I are moving back to England." _There, out in the open, let's wait for the massive avalanche of- silence?_ Lizzie's eyes had glazed over, her mouth slightly open, she was either in deep thought or in shock, Hermione deduced that it was both.

"I'm coming with you." she whispered and Hermione growled.

"Elizabeth.. no." she said crossly and Lizzie groaned in annoyance.

"Do-not-call-me-that-name!" she snapped and Hermione sighed heavily.

"It's worse." Hermione said, deciding to drop the subject. Lizzie shuffled her feet and Hermione's attention was caught for a moment before she met her cousin's gaze and ran her fingers through her blonde hair. "She wants to- she wants to meet _him_."

Lizzie's eyes widened at this, she had never met the famous Harry Potter, she had only heard the media's representation and Hermione's, the two seemed to differ greatly. The media, made Harry seem strong and noble, Hermione, although stating that these aspects were true also believed that they were his greatest weaknesses and the reason Hermione left.

"Harry? Are you serious?" Hermione nodded quickly, looking at her daughter whom still stood, watching, waiting. Emerald held herself in a very shy manner, much like her father had when he first started school.

"Sometimes, when I look at her, I see him standing in the doorway, his eyes gazing up at me with such love… she belongs to him… she belongs in England… she's a Potter." Hermione whispered and Lizzie let out a hollow laugh.

"She stopped being a Potter the moment he left you for…" Lizzie trailed off mumbling a few obscenities under her breath. "Anyway… Emerald is a Granger, through and through. She is yours Hermione… not his." They began to make their way towards the house, Emerald had quickly ran into the lounge room, to try and hide the fact she had been trying to listen.

"You're right, he has a family, probably three children by now… what would he want with me… and my daughter." Lizzie shot Hermione a warning look as they entered the house they shared and found Emerald playing happily on the floor.

"I am coming with you Hermione, whether you like it or not, I am not letting this beautiful girl move half way around the world without me." Lizzie shot and Hermione smiled.

"It's not halfway around the world Liz."

***

Hermione entered the familiar hospital biting her bottom lip. She drew her healer robes tighter around her body and walked through the main reception area, intent on reaching the golden elevators as soon as she could. She was about two steps from the hall leading away from the main entrance when a woman let out a blood curdling scream.

Hermione turned and her eyes widened in shock when a man begun convulsing on the floor, his body thrashing angrily about as she ran to his side, pushing the growing crowd out of the way. The adrenaline rush had kicked in and Hermione found her senses immediately heightened as she placed her fingertips to his neck, feeling desperately for a pulse, which she found, though barely.

She felt the temperature of his skin and frowned heavily, she trailed light, feather like fingers over his neck, feeling immediately the warmness of blood. The blood had a green tinge to it, _snake_, she thought suddenly and remembered a certain serpent from a book she had once read many years ago at school.

Hermione attempted to point the tip of her wand to his wound but the man continued to thrash as the poison seeped into his blood, she couldn't immobilise him with magic, the venom would only spread faster. She placed a hand on his shoulder and forced it to the cold ground, she let out a desperate squeak as she tried again to save him.

Two strong hands pushed the man down to the floor and Hermione immediately placed the tip of her wand to his neck, removing the poison immediately with a series of complex wand movements.

The man was immediately escorted away and Hermione looked up into the stormy depths she knew so well, _five years ago_.

Draco Malfoy smiled warmly and helped Hermione to her feet. "My Hermione, good to see you have joined the club." He said and pointed to his hair then hers. Hermione smiled smally and threw her arms around his neck tightly.

"Hello Draco… it has been a long time…" Hermione trailed off awkwardly and Draco smiled, sleeking his hair back. Hermione grinned; _he must be seeing Luna soon._

"Why are you in St. Mungos?" Hermione suddenly asked and Draco blushed, a large smile growing on his face.

"Well Luna's pregnant, again… and well… she's due soon." Draco smiled when Hermione squealed in delight. "Hermione, come to dinner, this Thursday night, please, bring friends, anyone, I really want to catch up… but I have to go."

"Of course… same house?"

"A Malfoy never lets go of a good investment." Draco stated in his old drawl, a smile on his face. Hermione snorted and waved, on her way to the lifts.

***

Hermione arrived at the intensive care recovery ward two minutes early. Elizabeth smiled at her and pointed to her badge which read 'general maladies and injuries.' Hermione smiled encouragingly, it was Lizzie's second job out of school.

Hermione waved and walked into the head healer's office. The woman looked up from her newspaper quickly. Hermione sat on the seat before the desk that the older woman had indicated with a quick flick of her bony wrist.

Claire Evans had a lined face; every light that graced her features cast large shadows down her pale skin, causing her to look more gaunt than ever. She had a shock of white hair with one diagonal streak of black in it. She had eyes that were both warm and inviting, yet cold and calculating, Hermione figured she had experienced a lot in her life.

Claire stood and a small smile graced her lips. "Miss Granger, it is a pleasure to have you in our ward, I have heard great things from America." She complimented and Hermione blushed. "Now… if you don't mind I will get you straight into it… I like to take things head on, dive in without testing the depth, if you catch my meaning." The old woman seemed kind, but reminded Hermione of Minerva McGonagall, kind yet strict.

Hermione nodded and Claire passed her a map of the hospital, a set of keys and an ID badge, with her name and department on the front. Claire then stood and Hermione instantly followed. She was lead down a long white walled passage to a black door.

"Miss Granger, I must warn you now, over the years I have seen many horrible things in this ward and I know the consequences of becoming attached to a patient and the pain of losing them. … I do not want you to go through my pain." At this Claire passed Hermione a large file and left without another word.

Hermione walked through the door and closed it softly behind her. The walls were a rich purple in colour, about eight rooms were evenly spaced along it. Hermione quickly opened her file and saw her first patient.

'Clara Weasley,

Age: six.

Leg wound from Norwegian ridgeback.

Poisoning.'

Hermione sighed, _Charlies._ She entered the room and found a very beautiful young girl sitting in her bed reading a large picture book. She looked up when she noticed Hermione's presence and Hermione approached, quickly skimming through the details of her condition.

"Hello Clara, my name is Hermione Granger and I will be taking care of you for a while." Hermione said kindly and Clara's eyes widened in realisation.

"Hermione Granger, my family speaks of you alot." She stated and Hermione worried her lower lip. Clara had bright blue eyes and long dark red hair. Hermione remembered meeting Clara once as an infant, first daughter of Charlie and Hannah Weasley. Hannah Abbot had become a beautiful woman, wife and mother.

"How are you feeling? You mentioned the other day that your headache has worsened?" Hermione inquired and Clara sighed.

"Why ask? You know I'm dying." Clara said this in such a manner that Hermione felt her heart clench, she sounded so _resigned. _Hermione sat beside Clara on the bed and took the young girls hands in hers.

"I will not let that happen." Hermione stated and the girl smiled, her face up close was pale, her cheeks she could tell were usually rosy.

"My head does not hurt so much now. But my leg is really sore still." Hermione looked back to her papers and frowned slightly. "What is it?" Hermione looked up surprised and decided to answer.

"Oh.. it's just I know of a treatment they have not tried." Hermione whispered and Clara perked up at the thought.

***

Jonathon Andrews was quite the handsome man before he was attacked. He was suffering from the side effects of the satania curse, an old curse that slowly killed the victim by dissolving their organs. He didn't look up when she entered and continued to stare at the ceiling, his eyes were large, sad, brown depths.

Hermione looked down at her patient sadly. He and Clara were her only charges and Hermione hoped she could save both of them.

"Mr. Andrews?" he didn't answer at first and when Hermione opened her mouth to say something he spoke quietly.

"Jonathon."

"Jonathon… I am Hermione Granger-"

"I know who you are, another useless healer telling me they can cure me when they can't and looking at me with spiteful eyes." He refused to look at her and this frustrated Hermione, she didn't know why.

"I want to help."

"I don't want your sympathy. Why don't you go back to America… I can tell you were there for an extended time, let me guess boyfriend dumped you for the hot girl and you ran away?" he spat cruelly and Hermione felt her heart plummet and found it hard to breathe. When she didn't answer he turned to look at her and saw tears in her large honey eyes.

"You pretty much hit the nail on the head there Mr. Andrews." Hermione cursed her voice for being so squeaky.

Jonathon's eyes widened when he took in the sight of her, she was absolutely breathtaking, she had a kindness about her he was sure came naturally and could not be taught. Her hair he could tell even though it was up in a high pony tail, was long, probably reaching halfway down her back. He suspected blonde was not her natural hair colour, but it suited her all the same. Her large honey eyes looked at him with such courage and kindness that Jonathon couldn't help but fall in love with her.

"I'm sorry… im a bit of an arse these days… I wasn't always like this… forgive me please… Hermione." Hermione heard the difficulty he seemed to be having, as if he hadn't spoken in a non negative way in a very long time. Now Hermione looked at him, she could tell he had come from a strict home, the way his back straightened when a woman entered the room, as if it was an innate behaviour to stand.

"That's okay Jonathon."

"Why don't you tell me about it? I don't get any visitors… who I am I going to tell?" he joked and Hermione smiled smally and positioned herself comfortably in the chair beside his bed. His gaze was at the ajar door and Hermione turned and saw Clara smiling warmly at Jonathon.

"Clara. You shouldn't be out of bed." Hermione stated as the girl approached climbing onto Jonathon's bed and sitting beside him, her small head resting on his shoulder.

"You were going to tell a story?" she asked hopefully and Hermione sighed.

"Don't worry Hermione; we are good friends, Clara and I." Hermione frowned slightly and as if he read her thoughts he shook his head a glare on his face, before it turned bemused as Clara looked up at him confused.

"Well… where should I start?"

"How about…" he trailed off for a moment as if in deep thought. "The first time you met him." Hermione smiled suddenly at the memory. She nodded slowly and ran her fingers through her hair.

"I have never been the prettiest girl in England, I had two large front teeth and extremely bushy brown hair that was impossible to maintain in my youth." Hermione smiled slightly her perfect teeth gleaming. "I was always an odd child, I had a thirst for knowledge that many found unnerving, strange even. I was an absolute know-it-all, it was funny really, I didn't have many friends because I had… how shall I say, a knack for making people feel dumb… I never meant to of course, I just never grasped the concept of being modest and know when to shut up as a child." Hermione suddenly laughed. "I see I still don't know when to shut up."

Her eyes were bright as she begun the tale of her first train ride to Hogwarts, where she met the famous boy who lived. Jonathon watched and listened intently.

"…and when he came back to us, he had stopped Voldemort from getting to the philosophers stone." Hermione suddenly looked at her watch and gasped in shock. "I have to get down to the potions lab… I have some new treatments I wish to start." she suddenly stood and smiled at the sleeping Clara, it was about four in the afternoon. Hermione was slightly worried about Clara's condition; she had been tired a lot lately.

Jonathon smiled smally when Hermione lifted the small girl effortlessly into her arms and carried her to her room, not wanting to levitate her.

When Hermione had returned she saw Jonathon staring at the ceiling with a small smile playing on his lips. "Will you keep telling me this story tomorrow?" he asked curiously and Hermione smiled.

"Of course." Hermione said and he nodded, closing his eyes slowly. "Goodnight Jonathon." Hermione whispered, her shift was almost over, she was supposed to be home in an hour and a half.

"Goodnight Hermione."

***

Harry looked down at the file before him, it was a case he had solved a few weeks ago, a wizard by the name of Jonathon Andrews was attacked with the satania curse, an old curse that had not been performed since the early twelfth century. The file had been sent over two days earlier than he had requested and Harry was glad. The man responsible was none other than Marcus flint, the curse, obviously something that had been passed on over the generations.

He opened the leather bound file and sighed when he saw the report on Andrews deteriorating condition; the hand writing was smooth and silky, slightly cramped in parts, as if that style was an old habit the writer had tried to get rid of.

He flicked through the file and groaned when he saw the court date. In a month he would be before the Wizengamot, giving evidence against Flint. Harry hated trials, especially ones that would be as publicised as this one; he was, no matter the crime, the topic of every headline.

He stood and placed the file down, being an auror was losing its charm, the darkness in his heart did not lessen and the constant stories of death and pain that surrounded him were slowly driving him insane.

He suddenly wished he was back at Hogwarts, with Ron making his ridiculous excuses for not doing his homework and Hermione, _just being Hermione._ He realised that that was impossible.

_Ron is dead and Hermione left you, you are alone._

He reached forward and picked up the photo of a deranged looking Marcus Flint. The years had not been kind. Black hair hung dirtily around his scarred and disfigured face, his eyes were now small and beady, his teeth stained with alcohol and tobacco.

He dropped the photograph and reached for the nearest piece of blank parchment.

He had nothing left but work and soon he would have nothing at all.

And with his hands shaking he wrote a single name.

_Minerva._

***

**review? maybe?**


	17. A reason to breathe

**AN disclaimer: I do not own anything to do with harry potter…**

**Thanks for the reviews and I will try and update frequently but forgive me if I am not able to... and back to it…**

Hermione smiled at the comfortable looking home. The white walled, blue rooved house was situated in a very secluded area of England, even Hermione wasn't sure where it was. The grass shone a bright emerald green and Hermione noted that the colour was the exact same shade as her daughters and _his eyes_.

She sighed when she thought of her job; it was strange how calmed she was in Jonathon's presence he seemed to understand something, whatever it was Hermione was not sure. She walked quickly down the damp hill, feeling the chill of dusk creeping through her clothes.

She ran a hand through her soft curls, wearisome; she reached out and opened the front door.

"Mi! You scared me half to death!" Lizzie exclaimed when Hermione entered the house looking thoughtful. Hermione ignored her cousin when she saw Emerald running down the stairs in her pinstriped pyjamas.

"Mummy!" Hermione knelt to the ground and Emerald flung her arms around Hermione's neck, a yawn escaping her lips.

"To bed I think? Its eight o'clock!" Hermione exclaimed and Emmy sighed, resting her head sleepily on her shoulder. Hermione stood and ascended the staircase, her daughter already close to slumber when they reached her pale blue room. Emmy had decided on the colour much to Hermione's surprise; blue after all, was Harry's favourite colour.

"Goodnight my angel." Hermione whispered, kissing Emerald's forehead.

"G'nite…mum."

Elizabeth Granger sat on the large white sofa comfortably, a glass of lemonade in one hand, her other hand twirling her hair. Lizzie looked up at Hermione curiously and Hermione sighed sitting heavily at the other end of the sofa almost on top of her companions feet.

"Spill." Lizzie said nonchalantly, it was an order, not a suggestion, Hermione noted. Hermione sighed and ran her fingers through her tamed hair.

"First day… I have been assigned two intensive care patients, Clara and Jonathon."

"I take it you know one of them?" Lizzie looked upon Hermione with inquisitive eyes, Hermione got the feeling she could read Hermione's facial expressions, perhaps her thoughts.

"Her name is Clara…Clara _Weasley._" Hermione placed her head in her hands when she heard the gasp of recognition.

"As in Ron Weasley?"

"As in Ron Weasley's niece, seven year old Clara, daughter of Charlie and Hannah Weasley." Liz nodded for her to continue and Hermione sighed. "It means I will have to talk to them… I haven't spoken to a Weasley in around five years now… and they are joined at the hip with-"

"-Harry." Liz finished and Hermione nodded sadly. "Mi… I think you should not worry about it… I mean, yes you will see them but they are your friends and Harry is bound to find out somehow… I mean you are famous Hermione… you can't really be seen for the first time in public in five years and not be the talk of the town." Liz stated and yawned. "And Mi I know you want to analyse this but seriously, go to bed… I still haven't gotten used to this time difference…" Hermione chuckled at this and Liz growled.

"That makes absolutely no sense! Its still day time in America!" the younger woman glared at Hermione and turned to walk away.

"I'm usually asleep in the day time." Lizzie yawned heavily and placed one foot on the staircase.

"Liz! Im going to dinner to an old friends place! You are coming!"

"Will there be any men?" Liz joked and Hermione snorted. _Typical, always interested in looking and never accepting._

Liz was a beautiful girl, gorgeous in Hermione's opinion; she simply did not trust people, men in particular. Hermione knew it stemmed from her one serious relationship in her sixth year of magic school with one of her professors. The man had since been sacked, but with him he took Elizabeth's integrity, trust and her innocence.

Liz had never been with a man since, she hated the fact but knew that when the right man came along she would know it and would learn to trust and love again.

***

_Minerva. _The elderly witch looked down at the familiar handwriting and frowned slightly, Harry Potter had not contacted her in many years, and Minerva suspected it was because she refused to tell him where Hermione was. She looked up at her predecessor and saw the curiosity in his twinkling blue eyes.

She looked out of the tall windows of her office and smiled as the warm rays of sunlight washed over her face, the sun had just begun to rise over the mountains that encompassed Hogwarts and she sighed heavily. She turned back to her morning mail and gently prized open the letter.

_Minerva, _

_Forgive me for being so rude these past few years; I know that I had no right to avoid you. I know that Hermione requested that you don't tell anyone of her whereabouts but I was-am so consumed with this uncontrollable need to see her. _

_I am in hope that you will agree to meet with me, I have heard a rumour that a position shall be opening up very soon at Hogwarts and I was interested in applying for it. _

_Before you wonder, being an auror has not stopped all of the pain I felt during the war and still feel now. The pain was amplified by losing Hermione, that however was my fault. Seeing so many horrible things have caused me even greater sorrow, I have nothing but work ever since she left; I have only work and I am suffocating. _

_I do not expect you to want to meet me or even talk to me but I beg of you… I need something to live for again, Hermione was the only reason I still breathed and I need life again…_

_So if you would even consider replying to this letter, I would appreciate it a lot, even if it's a rejection._

_Thankyou, _

_Sincerely,_

_Harry Potter._

She removed her rectangular framed glasses and pinched the bridge of her nose, trying to stem the emotional onslaught that was threatening to come. She looked up when she heard a slight cough from behind her.

"I never would have thought he would experience something more painful than the war itself." Dumbledore said thoughtfully and Minerva's eyebrow arched in confusion.

"Bereavement of the heart… it will eventually kill her you know." Dumbledore said darkly and Minerva gasped.

"What! You never told me that!" Dumbledore bowed his head at this and ran his fingers through his beard thoughtfully.

"Because I thought he would have chased after her, found her and warmed her heart once more."

"But she does not want him… she thinks he's happy! I must go to her!" Minerva's voice panicky she stood and Dumbledore made a small noise.

"No. they must find each other naturally. But I do agree that she needs to know about her deteriorating condition. She needs to make specific arrangements for Emerald."

"Emerald?" Minerva whispered perplexed.

"Their daughter of course." Minerva collapsed into her seat and reached for her bottle of firewhisky. Albus chuckled at her shocked expression and Minerva growled.

"Isn't it a bit early for whisky Minnie?" she glared daggers at his portrait which caused him to laugh once more, louder this time. "Oh my friend you are very entertaining."

"Don't laugh Albus; it is not as entertaining as you might see it. So tell me, is Harry the only cure for Hermione?" she inquired sternly and Dumbledore let out a low whistle.

"No, there is one other cure, but it must be provided by someone who is completely in love with her and willing to sacrifice their life to give her their heart." Dumbledore stated simply and Minerva swallowed.

"She would never allow Harry to do that."

"Who said anything about Harry Potter?"

***

_Dear Mr. Potter,_

_I would love to have dinner with you at Hogwarts to discuss the possibility of you taking up the position of defence against the dark arts teacher._

_Please come this Thursday evening at 6pm sharp. I shall be at the head table waiting for you. _

_Sincerely,_

_Minerva McGonagall._

**AN **

**I will probably be able to write emotively because … something is happening in my life which will allow it I hope….**

**Hopefully everything works out**

**For both myself**

**And of course harry and Hermione :P**

**Reviews? Your thoughts?**


	18. Stolen

**I do not own hp….**

**Thanks for the reviews they make me smile:D**

The days after Harry received Minerva's reply dragged on horribly. He kept himself busy with tedious tasks, mostly paper work; he wanted to be completely finished with his job, even if he didn't get the position at Hogwarts he was quitting. It was on the Wednesday night that Harry had handed in his resignation, much to the dismay of his fellow members of the magical law enforcement department.

He smiled when he looked up at the large castle, the sun had just fallen below the horizon and the castle was glowing in the half moon that smiled down at him. It had been four years since he had set foot on his old school grounds. The last time he remembered quite vividly.

…_It had been about a year since Hermione had left. Just after Ginny was back on speaking terms with her mother… _

_Harry woke with a start, Hermione's face imprinted on his eyelids, he ran his hands through his hair angrily, pulling at his messy locks. He stood and threw his black cloak on, shoving shoes on in the process. He had collapsed the night before fully clothed in his auror uniform, he realised with a growl that it was still night._

_He apparated directly outside the grounds, the large gate looming before him. He snarled at the place that once was his home and threw open the iron gates with a loud bang._

_Harry immediately saw the lights in Hagrid's hut flicker on and the half-giant himself stumbling out of the door, squinting into the night for him. Hagrid saw the dark, cloaked figure and felt his heart stop beating. _Tom Riddle._ Was the first thought that went through his head; he withdrew his pink umbrella and pointed it at Harry, whom raised his hands in defence._

"_Hagrid." Harry said, a mere ten feet from him. Hagrid suddenly smiled when he recognised his voice._

"'_arry? 'arry! How're ya eh?" Hagrid said, his voice still thick from the deep slumber Harry was sure he had been in. "wha' are you doin' ere this time o' night?" the older man asked, worry coating his features._

"_To see the headmistress." He spat and Hagrid took a step backwards. Harry began to move towards the castle, wand raised. _

"'_arry! You can't go in there! The kids!" Hagrid bellowed to his back and Harry froze and turned to face him. _

"_She has something that belongs to me." Hagrid frowned at this and opened his mouth, but Harry was gone, stalking off into the night, towards the castle. Harry saw the patronus shoot past him and raised his wand, the patronus immediately fading into nothing. _

_Rage consumed him, a hate had built up within him that was taking over his mind. _

_He reached the headmistress' office and glared at the gargoyle whom remained motionless, except for its beady eyes staring him down with a look of distrust. _

"_Let me enter." Harry spat and roared and pointed his wand at the gargoyles throat. _

"_Harry there is no need to hold my friend hostage." Came a stern, familiar voice from behind him. He turned and the headmistress was suddenly bathed in the golden light from Harry's wand. _

"_Where is she?" Harry spat as Minerva muttered the password and began descending the stairs, Harry in tow._

"_What! No greeting, no hello for your dear, old professor." McGonagall said with a slight twinkle of amusement in her eyes._

"_You deserve nothing; you haven't answered any of my letters. I ask you now, where is she?!" he exclaimed and Minerva raised a single curved eyebrow at him. Harry felt the eyes of Dumbledore's portrait boring into his skull but he refused to look up. _

"_Where is whom?" Minerva asked and Harry detected a hint of anger in her calm voice._

"_You know who! Hermione! Where is she!" Minerva stood and looked up at him ever so slightly, the height distance negligible, but there._

"_Harry Potter sit down this instant!" she exclaimed, but he stood his ground, glaring down at her._

"_No, now I am warning you now, tell me where she is!" at this Dumbledore let out a small chuckle._

"_Harry you do not threaten the Headmistress of Hogwarts and expect to get away with it." Dumbledore's face was smiling but his eyes were dark, in a silent warning. _

"_Shuttup you old fool!" Harry spat and Minerva's eyes widened in shock. He turned back to Minerva and his hands shook in his mixed emotions. "I NEED HER! I want her now! She is mine!" he cursed himself for sounding like a three year old wanting a toy back._

"_Mr. Potter, Hermione is not property, she is a person, a wonderful person whom would not take kindly to being spoken of as if she's some trophy of yours." Minerva said darkly and Harry flinched. _

"_But I let… I let her steal something from me and I want it back." grief suddenly over took him and he backed away towards the door. _

"_And what on earth did she steal?" Minerva asked sternly._

"_My heart."_

He cringed at the memory; he had been very rude, to too many people. He hadn't seen Hagrid in almost a year and had never apologized properly to the headmistress and her predecessor.

He entered the entrance hall and sighed when he ran his fingers through his dark, messy hair. He pushed open the doors to the Great Hall and an immediate hush fell over the hall. He pulled his black cloak tighter to his body and looked up to the head table where the powerful figure of Minerva McGonagall stood, surveying him critically.

Neville Longbottom waved merrily at him and Harry smiled smally and waved back. Harry walked forward, towards the head mistress, who he noted, had reserved him a seat directly beside her.

It was early October; term had started a month ago. He sighed when he sat beside the head mistress who had remained standing, a serious look on her face.

"And may I present your new defence against the arts teacher, Harry Potter." He looked up pure shock on his face; the woman turned to him a small smile on hers, a twinkle in her pale green eyes. _She's up to something._ He thought testily and Minerva merely smirked as if she had read his mind.

The deputy headmaster, turned to him from the other side of McGonagall and smiled warmly, Flitwick still sat on many cushions to allow himself to reach his plate.

Harry waved awkwardly to the crowd and then Minerva sat down and he turned to her in shock.

"Are you serious? I mean… thankyou but… look I am so sorry… I spoke out of line that night and had no right..." he trailed off when she raised her hand.

"You were in love and in pain, I forgive you."

"I am still in love and still in pain." It appeared to be the answer the older woman wanted because she smiled and turned back to her meal.

***

"And so whilst I was laying petrified in the hospital wing Harry and Ron went down into the chamber of secrets."

It was odd how much Hermione had talked about her second year, it seemed fresher in her mind and a lot of it made more sense than before. When Clara was not in the room Hermione would avert from the fairytale style of the story and stick to the facts, Jonathon appreciating this.

"So Hermione… at the end of your second year you were not in love with him?"

"No, I had a crush on Ron."

"Seems like a bit of a twerp to me." he stated and Hermione sighed.

"He died when we were in seventh year… but yes a bit of a twerp.. But I love him a lot." Jonathon nodded holding her hand and giving it a tight squeeze before letting go.

"You should go to that dinner of yours Hermione; I am interested to hear about how Draco turned into a nice bloke." Jonathon said and Hermione laughed.

"Not for a few more years Jonathon, I will tell you that story in good time." Hermione stood, the night nurses would be journeying in now and Hermione really had to leave. "Goodnight Jonathon."

"Night Hermione."

***

Liz toyed with her very simple outfit nervously. "Hermione are you sure this isn't too casual?" Hermione chuckled from the other room.

"Liz one thing you will learn with Malfoy's is that you need to be prepared for formal occasions." At this Liz gasped. "But the one thing you learn when Lovegood's marry Malfoy's is that you learn to be abnormal or in your case look like you normally do." Hermione teased and Liz swore at her. Hermione laughed musically and walked into her daughter's room to find her wearing jeans and a green top, her choice of course. It was striking how much the clothing brought out the colour of her eyes.

Hermione felt tears in the back of her throat when she thought of whom those eyes belonged to. Hermione smiled when her daughter hugged her legs tightly.

Hermione looked down at the letter in her hand and frowned slightly.

_Hermione,_

_Don't forget to bring the green-eyed._

_Luna. _

The woman's knowledge surprised and confused Hermione's logical self. If she did not believe divination was such a 'wooly' subject she would have called Luna a seer; but as it were, she most likely was one.

Hermione smiled when she entered the two story villa. It was small by Malfoy standards. It had large gaping windows, its sand washed face smiling down at her in the last few dying embers of daylight. The large white door opened suddenly and a tall, handsome, dark man came into view, his warm brown eyes smiling at her.

"You look good enough to eat Hermione." He smirked and she smiled walking forward.

"You do not look to bad yourself Blaise." Hermione teased and the pair embraced. "It's been too long my friend." He sighed when he looked down at her. She was clad simply in jeans and a shirt, as he was. Blaise looked up suddenly and noticed the two companions Hermione had.

Blaise moved forward to Lizzie in awe, extending his hand to her in welcome. Lizzie took his hand cautiously and he bent down and kissed it softly, before releasing her with a smile. "I am Blaise Zabini."

"Elizabeth Granger." Blaise's eyes showed a flicker of recognition.

"Of course, Hermione has told me about you before." His eyes then travelled to Emerald whom stood beside her mother looking up at the man with bright green, cautious eyes.

He met Hermione's gaze and she nodded, understanding his question immediately. Blaise knelt infront of Emerald and smiled warmly.

"My name is Blaise and what is your name?" he asked and Emerald smiled.

"I'm Emerald… Emmy for short." Emerald said and Blaise smiled. The dark man stood to his full height almost a foot above Hermione and cupped Hermione's face in a platonic manner, his eyes full of disbelief.

"I am glad you have returned Hermione. We have missed you." Blaise turned and lead the three Grangers into a brightly lit hall, pictures of Draco, Luna and there son lined the yellow walls. Blaise took the first door to the left and opened it for them to enter.

Hermione smiled when Draco stood from his casual sitting position at the dining table. He walked forward and enveloped Hermione in his hard arms tightly. Hermione kissed his cheek softly and he smiled. Draco turned his gaze to the small being next to Hermione and took a step back in shock when the girl looked up at him with bright _emerald_ eyes. Draco looked back to Hermione understanding gracing his features and pulled her into an even tighter embrace.

"Draco… I have missed you…this is my cousin, Elizabeth-she prefers Lizzie." Hermione said indicating the beautiful woman behind her who smiled politely. "and this is my daughter, Emerald-"

"Emmy." Emerald interrupted and Hermione smiled smally. Draco smiled and greeted Lizzie then Emerald, and Hermione was surprised to see that Draco and a 'Potter' seemed to get along.

"So Emmy, would you like to meet my son?" Draco looked over his shoulder suddenly as if in search of something, he made a quick motion with his hand and a four year old boy stepped forward shyly. "This is Leonardis-"

"Leo." He like Emerald interrupted and Hermione chuckled.

"Leo why don't you take Emmy into the lounge next door and show her your toys? Yes?" Draco offered and the children's face lit up and they quickly moved to the second door in the room, opening it and leaving it wide, the pair of them moving to a large lounge which had a box infront of it.

Hermione sat with a place left empty beside her for Emmy, across from Hermione were two empty chairs, presumably for Luna and Leo. Draco sat at the head of the table, Luna and Hermione nearest him, Lizzie sat beside Hermione with Blaise directly across from her. The pair seemed to be taking turns staring at each other, then looking away embarrassed. Hermione smiled smally and turned to Draco whom had begun speaking.

"Does Harry know?" Draco asked tenderly and Hermione sighed.

"No Harry doesn't know."

***

**AN okay okay okay, I understand that some of you want ginny brought to justice, but need I remind you**

**Our weaslette has not seen Hermione granger in five years…….. and Hermione shall be…. Well use your imagination…..**

**Reviews? Maybe**


	19. Found

Jonathon felt a burning rise from his stomach, he could taste a mixture of bile and blood in his mouth and he let out a strangled cry of pain. The young nurse ran into his room and seeing the blood and mucus dribbling down from his blue lips onto his pillow cast a quick spell which brought no relief.

Jonathon felt his heart constrict when he heard the cry of Clara from the next room. He motioned for the woman to run to her, save the young girl but the nurse paid him no attention and Jonathon could slowly feel himself sinking into darkness. Then he heard it again, another cry from the young Weasley, the nurse turned to the door, finally she had registered it as a cause for alarm.

"Clara… Clar…Cl…"

***

Hermione laughed, smiling brilliantly when Luna ran her fingers through Draco's neat hair. _Old habits die hard._ Hermione gasped when she felt her wand vibrating in her pocket. She took it out and red sparks engulfed the room momentarily. Hermione's features fell into a shocked and concerned expression as she stared at the red glow.

"Oh im sorry, there is an emergency at the hospital I must go." Hermione apologised and kissed her daughters cheek before running from the house.

***

Hermione entered Jonathon's room, sending the two nurses into Clara's immediately. Hermione quickly scanned his abdomen and saw that the lining of his stomach was deteriorating rapidly, faster than she had ever thought possible.

She cast a shield charm that she knew would not prevent the inevitable, but would at least reduce the pain. She revived him quickly and he sat bolt up right looking wildly around the room, she was suddenly reminded of a werewolf, the way he looked around the room as if surveying it for prey, his nose twitching, teeth bared.

"Clara." He whispered and Hermione yelled for the nurses and ran to Clara's room, the girl was shaking violently.

"Clara… Clara sweetheart I need you to hear me now, do not be afraid." Hermione stated and forced the girls shoulder down. Hermione placed the tip of her wand to Clara's head and mumbled several complex spells under her breath, the tip of it shone blue and Clara's breathing evened out and her shaking subsided. Hermione sighed, sinking into the chair beside Clara's bed, her head in her hands.

Hermione stood suddenly when she heard the anguished gasp come from the ajar door. The man ran forward, clutching Clara's hand in his own, kissing it gently.

"Oh Clara please don't be dead…" his voice trailed off and Hermione smiled smally.

"She is fine… _Charlie_." Hermione whispered and his blue-green eyes immediately were upon her. He seemed shocked at first, his eyes taking in her blonde hair, then her uniform, then the face he recognised so well.

"Hermione… you have returned." Charlie looked to the door where Hannah stood, a sleeping baby boy in her arms. Hannah immediately let out a sigh of relief when she saw Charlie's smiling face, her eyes widened immediately when she saw her former class mate.

"Hermione Granger! Oh, I am so happy that you are Clara's healer…" she trailed off, nursing her son back into his deep sleep as his body had begun to stir.

"I will save her."

***

Harry sat down heavily on the lounge at the hollow. He had replaced all of Hermione's things into the exact same manner she had before. He felt a pang in his heart when he looked at the picture hanging on the wall, the last one that had been taken of them both together. The night of his 21st birthday party. She wore his favourite black dress, he smiled when his image repeatedly kissed her temple making her blush, before turning back to the camera and smiling.

He sighed heavily and placed his head in his hands. He removed his glasses and walked to the bathroom flicking his wand so that his face was cleanly shaven, it was his choice, not anyone else's. He heard tapping at the window and he turned collecting the daily prophet and sitting at the table.

He unfolded the newspaper and saw a blonde woman flick her head in the direction of the camera suddenly, her eyes widen in shock and then the beautiful woman walked away.

'_Hermione Granger, back in England!_

_The war hero and best friend of Harry Potter, was spotted yesterday in the main entrance to St. Mungos where she has taken up a high ranking position in the extreme care ward. _

_Miss Granger was one of the heroes of the war having helped Harry Potter defeat you know you in her seventh year at school. Renowned for her brains and magical talent, and later in her life her beauty, Miss Granger's disappearance five years ago startled the wizarding community with none of her close friends commenting on the move. _

_If any information was to be gained, all sources said ask Harry Potter, whom declined to be interviewed on the topic. Sources however claim the move may have had something to do with Mr. Potter himself. _

_See page four for a comprehensive account of Hermione Granger's new look, including how you can dye your hair the same…."_

He didn't bother reading the rest. She was back. Harry stared intently at the image of Hermione, she looked so different. Five years had made her even more beautiful then before. He stroked the black and white Hermione's cheek in wonder, _Hermione._

***

One day before.

Hermione entered St Mungos and sighed heavily when she saw the many people in the waiting room; she walked forward and turned when she heard someone call her name. The flash was bright and blinding and Hermione's eyes widened when she saw the camera and she stalked away.

She entered Clara's room and smiled at Charlie's sleeping form, Hannah was obviously at home nursing their eight month old son. Clara smiled warmly and Hermione ran a quick scan over her. She looked fine, pleasing Hermione greatly.

"I'm going to run some tests today Clara, I think I will be able to help you." Hermione said kindly and Charlie sat up looking around for a moment before spotting Hermione and smiling. "Charlie can I have a word?"

The two adults exited the room and walked a while down the hall until they were near Jonathon's door. "Charlie I must explain something… if I am right, the tests I do today will not allow me to do anything to help Clara… I have a suspicion that Clara will have to fight off the poison herself, her own body her own magical spirit as such. But I pray I am not right… she is strong… now I am sorry Charlie but I must see to my other patient." Charlie nodded solemnly and ventured back to Clara's room.

Jonathon looked up and waited whilst Hermione ran tests, she spent about an hour going over the results that presented them selves onto her notes and she frowned slightly casting another shield over his abdomen.

She sat beside him and waited for him to drink the potion; she would have to monitor the effects for the rest of the day.

"Will you promise me something Hermione?" he asked quietly and his dark eyes bored into hers with a familiar intensity, one she had not experienced for many years. "Promise me you will make sure Clara lives… make sure she doesn't die." Hermione sighed and massaged her temples.

"I will try Jon." Jonathon smiled at this.

"So your third year at school?" at this Hermione smiled, remembering it vividly.

***

"Mum.. Why are you on the front cover?" Emerald asked innocently looking down at the newspaper that had been dropped by the owl on the breakfast table. Hermione frowned slightly and Lizzie looked up from her food curiously, her mouth half open, her fork hitting her cheek.

When Hermione saw the headline her jaw dropped. "No no no no no no no!" Hermione said and she pulled at her wavy blonde hair furiously, her eyes wide in terror.

"Mum?"

"Hermione…. I assume this is not good?" Lizzie asked cautiously before taking another bite of her eggs, not the least bit concerned. Emerald let out a small giggle when her 'aunt' rolled her eyes.

"Not good? NOT GOOD? THIS IS A CATASTROPHE!"

**AN**

**New poll is up about who/if anyone is going to die in this story.**

**So harry now knows she's in England…….**

**Reviews?**


	20. Never play with ice

_**AN**_

_**IMPORTANT: um**_** I was in a bit of a…. crazy mood when I wrote this lol… probably reflected through Hermione….**

"_Not good? NOT GOOD? THIS IS A CATASTROPHE!"_ She screamed and Emerald covered her ears frowning up at her mother. Hermione collapsed into her seat hopelessly, head in her hands.

"Mum… maybe dad will see…" the small girl whispered nervously and Hermione groaned.

"That is _exactly_ what I am afraid of." She sighed and Emerald pouted. Lizzie quickly smiled reassuringly at the girl.

"Hermione… I think its time you visit them… the Weasley's." At this Hermione nodded knowing the Weasley matriarch would be expecting her any day.

***

It was different than she remembered, yes it was still at an odd angle and was seven times taller than it was wide, but it looked fresher, newer. Arthur had been successful in the ministry since Kingsley took office, he was head of the department for the regulation of magical creatures, but Hermione suspected by the motor bike that sat next to the old broom shed, that he still adored muggles.

She walked forward quickly the cold having a slight bite to it and tightening her brown scarf, bringing her white coat around her more tightly Hermione walked to the back door. A door that lead to the kitchen and she smiled as the scent of good food and happiness reached her nose. _Home_. She thought as she breathed in the scent.

She knocked innocently on the door, it was Sunday, about eleven o'clock. Hermione heard noise from the inside, happy banter which ceased at the sound of her knocks. Hermione had her back to the door, looking around the yard fondly, she had missed the burrow.

When the door opened she sensed the twins immediately, they had a scent about them, it was a musky scent mixed with the smell of smoke, probably from their latest invention. _Sunday brunch, I should have known._ She cursed herself silently.

"Um hello-"

"May we-"

"Offer any-"

"Assistance?" they chimed the last word together and Hermione smiled, turning quickly and looking up into their shocked faces. She was surprised she could still just tell the difference between them, few could, but Hermione knew George had a different smile to Fred, George smiled more with his eyes.

"Fred, George… it has been a long time." Hermione whispered and squealed in shock when they did the 'Hermione sandwich'

"Hermione sandwich!" they chorused and Hermione laughed as they dragged her inside quickly.

"We thought you might be Harry-"

"Yea he said he would be late."

Hermione immediately found herself at the bottom of the dining table. Bill and Fleur. Charlie, Molly, Arthur, Percy and Penelope, Angelina and Katie all sat at the table, Hermione could hear children in the next room.

And immediately Hermione found herself being passed around the room in tight hugs, she fell at last to Molly whom had tears flowing down her face. Hermione frowned slightly at this until a smile lit up the older woman's features.

"Oh Hermione dear, we saw you in the paper just the other day! Oh dear I am so happy to see you home at last! Where have you been?" and so the questions began the moment Molly released her. Hermione opened her mouth to speak, but found the words could simply not come out, she held back a sob as she threw her arms around Molly, bringing her into a tight embrace.

Hermione smiled when Molly patted her back in a soothing manner, _oh I missed her hugs._ Hermione withdrew and quickly dabbed her eyes.

"Oh I'm sorry!" she squeaked and was lead to a seat besides Charlie. All eyes on the table seemed to be watching her and Hermione felt her cheeks redden at the attention, they were obviously waiting for her to speak. "I thought… since the fact I am back in England was splattered over the front covers of every newspaper and magazine that I should… come see you… I wasn't… I didn't want to intrude when I came back… I'm only back because I was… persuaded…" she trailed off, she was finding it increasingly difficult to speak.

Arthur nodded with a slight frown on his face. "So you weren't planning on seeing us?" he asked quietly and Hermione's eyes widened.

"Oh… no I was going to.. It's just this is hard for me… being here back in England… when I left five years ago I had absolutely no intension of returning." She stated firmly and felt many hurt eyes on her. "It wasn't you… it was… oh it's hard to explain… I was… I had some issues… um… I was very ill… and I still suffer the side effects." She didn't know how much she should tell them, if anything.

"What's wrong with you?" Angelina asked, concern lacing her voice.

"I'd rather.. Not tell you yet…"

"What made you come back?" Molly asked gently and Hermione let out a small chuckle.

"Emerald asked me too." She immediately mentally slapped herself. _Damn it._

"Who is Emerald?" Molly inquired and Hermione sighed, running her fingers through her hair. _May as well tell the truth idiot_.

"My daughter." Hermione whispered and she looked up from her hands which had been writhing in her lap.

Silence. And then the reaction, Fred and George both exchanged glances, Arthur choked on his water, the rest stared, but Mrs. Weasley, she had burst into tears.

"Molly, I'm sorry I didn't mean to upset you-" she begun but Molly shook her head.

"No… it's not that… but you were all alone… all these years raising a child… wait… where is the father?" Molly suddenly sounded serious and Hermione felt all their eyes back on her.

"He…" she pursed her lips. "Is dead to me." she knew her voice carried a warning tone and the Weasley's immediately sensed it.

"Where is Ginevra? Surely Mrs. Potter wouldn't be at work?" Hermione asked in a dangerous voice and Fleur, Penelope, Angelina and Katie immediately excused themselves to check on the children. Hermione frowned suddenly. "Molly? Arthur?" Hermione pressed and they bowed their heads.

"She isn't Mrs.-"

"Mummy? Dad? We're here." Her familiar voice called from the back door and Hermione immediately went rigid, _Ginny_. Ginny entered a small boy in tow. Hermione stood and her eyes widened in horror when she saw the chocolate skinned child. She immediately looked at Ginny whom had her mouth half open, eyes wide in fear.

The boy, whom looked just older than Emerald shied away from the stranger, then ran into the playroom. Hermione watched him go in disbelief.

Hermione kicked her chair back and felt a cold storm rage inside of her. The lights in the room flickered and lightning flashed across the now black sky. Hermione realised she was trembling as her magic pulsed through her veins.

"You ungrateful WHORE!" Hermione screamed and Ginny took a step back, Hermione's wand was in her right hand, she immediately silenced the door leading to the children and then held it loosely by her side, bright blue sparks trickling from the end.

"Hermione listen-"

"Its Hermione now, I thought it was mudblood, or was it tramp I can't remember exactly when you last called me Hermione, Ginevra was it when we were in school?" Hermione taunted and Ginny felt her eyes water.

"Okay… I deserved that, you must listen-"

"He married you… you cheating, overbearing, sorry excuse for a woman; and you were carrying someone else's child?" Hermione immediately accused and Ginny swallowed. The thunder outside shook Ginny out of her frozen state and she bit her lip.

"I was wrong… I didn't realise it wasn't Harry's until-" Hermione raised her wand hand slightly and Ginny froze in fright, she looked to her family, but they were simply watching on, wands in hand, prepared for Hermione's wrath.

"Until the day you gave birth? It was nice wasn't it… having him there, your family, friends… in the hospital room? Wasn't it?" Hermione spat and Ginny cowered slightly. "You know who was there when I gave birth? No one… not one person was there, and when I held my daughter in my arms, she was all I had left and she still is the only reason I am alive today." Hermione spat and tears of frustration were falling down her cheeks.

"Hermione I-"

"NO!" she sobbed when Ginny took a step towards her. "You have no idea how much you have RUINED MY LIFE!" she screamed and took a deep breath just as a tall dark wizard walked in, dripping over the floor.

Dean Thomas looked at Hermione in shock and then guilt, Ginny had her hands, Hermione noticed, over the large swell of her newest child.

"You better make sure that kids yours." Hermione said indicating Ginny's belly and Molly let out a trembling plea for her to stop.

"Hermione… that's enough." Arthur warned and Hermione nodded walking past Ginny and to the back door.

"I'm sorry… I didn't… I will leave you… I should never have come." Hermione whispered and exited into the now clearing sky, her temper had weakened and now only a small drizzle remained, drops of rain which ran down her cheeks with her tears. She raised her wand and looked to the sky, letting the water dance on her face.

The kitchen glowed green as a man entered the house via floo.

"HERMIONE!" she froze, his voice echoed into the cool air, she turned and there on the back porch was Harry Potter. "wait." He said and Hermione shook her head.

"I am not your whore Harry James Potter."

And with a deafening crack.

She was gone.

**AN so…. **

**Reviews?**

**Poll is up btw**


	21. Matters of the heart

**AN this chapter should explain Hermione's… weird emotions/ moods**

"So that was the night Dumbledore died, and after losing Sirius the year before… I don't know how Harry was able to cope." Jonathon nodded feeling an intensifying pain in his stomach which he was attempting to hide from hermione. Hermione ran a quick scan over him and she frowned casting a series of complex spells.

"Jonathon, you must tell me when you are in pain; I am trying so hard to help you… it's so hard." Hermione said sadly and knew he could see the pain in her eyes which she was trying in vain to hide. Jonathon smiled sadly and cupped her face in his hands. Hermione's eyes widened when she saw the emotion in his dark eyes and pulled away when she felt the slightest touch of warmth inside of her chest.

"I have to see to Clara. Jenny will be in soon." Hermione left abruptly and walked into Clara Weasley's room. Clara's condition had worsened and Hermione was terrified, her emotions were out of synch, one moment she would be completely content, the next a deep depression and the one she feared most of all, anger. She didn't want to lose her first patient, the fact that she could was playing heavily on her mind. Clara had become completely incapacitated a week ago; she could not stand, let alone walk, when she begged Hermione to see Jonathon Hermione would levitate the small girl into a wheel chair.

Clara had slipped into a coma the day before; Hermione had few answers to tell Charlie and Hannah, whom were distraught. Hermione ran scans over Clara's small body and her eyes widened _her heart._ Hermione magnified her spell and looked closely at the slowly beating organ; a golden haze seemed to be covering it.

Her magical essence was poisoning her,

Hermione felt the tears fall down her cheeks but knew where she needed to go, to the one place she had ever read about it. _Hogwarts._

_***_

Severus Snape was pacing his portrait coolly, he hated the fact that forever more he would be stuck in the canvases of Hogwarts. It was not that he hated being at Hogwarts, it was the fact that he couldn't walk through the halls on his own, his black coat billowing around him, children cowering _yes, those were the days._

So when he made his way to the library and sat in the portrait of the library itself he was shocked to see a blonde head bent heavily over several tomes, her nose almost touching the pages.

"Hermione Granger?" he whispered and the woman jumped in shock and turned eyes wide in fear then surprise. She smiled, an overly innocent smile he remembered her using in her school days when she was caught doing something wrong. "Well, it's an… odd surprise seeing you here." He drawled and Hermione smiled smally.

"Hello Severus." She whispered and his eyes narrowed when she used his first name.

"Why are you here _Miss Granger_?" he emphasized and Hermione's face fell and she looked down at her now shaking hands.

"I'm researching… I have a patient whose magical essence is… well leaking." She stated and looked up and saw his dark eyes flicker in recognition.

"Of course… do you want to know the cure?" he stated with a smirk on his face, glad that he knew something she did not. She looked at him with hope in her eyes.

"Yes, do you know of one?"

"The only one." Hermione swallowed heavily and Snape sat down heavily.

"Remove the offending organ." He stated simply and Hermione gasped.

"That will kill her! Unless…. A live transplant?" Hermione murmured and watched her former professor nod.

"Yes a live transplant. Someone willing to die for her."

***

Hermione looked up when she reached the headmistresses office. The gargoyle leapt aside without the password escaping Hermione's lips and she frowned slightly.

"Ah Hermione." Minerva whispered and Hermione smiled smally taking a seat across from her. "I heard of your… incident at the Weasley's last week." Minerva said calmly and Hermione groaned.

"I didn't mean to lose control, it wasn't my-"

"I'm not implying it was your fault, it was merely the consequences of your … _condition._" She spoke with a slight edge to her usually calm voice and that made Hermione frown heavily.

"What of it?" Hermione said coolly and Minerva chuckled.

"See, your emotions changed instantly." Hermione blushed and bowed her head in shame. "Hermione… its killing you." Minerva whispered and Hermione looked up in shock.

"What?" Hermione gasped and Minerva sighed, a slight wetness to her eyes.

"You are dying." She froze, fear pulsating off of her. "You know of one cure-"

"That is not possible, not after what I said to him." Hermione placed her head in her hands and a single tear rolled off her face and onto the stone floor.

"Then… you must know of the other cure." Hermione looked up and listened in horror as both Albus and Minerva explained, Hermione would never allow that to happen and she stated it firmly.

"Then you best make arrangements for Emerald." Minerva said calmly and Hermione felt tears roll silently down her face in quick succession. Hermione nodded slowly and stood whispering something about work; even she could not make out her words.

***

Harry placed his head in his hands and looked out of his new office. He remembered the six defence against the dark arts teachers he had had in his time, all with different tastes and teaching methods, he wondered what he would be like. He groaned when the bell for class rang and he made his way down to his classroom. _First years._

He had set them a simple task, to research a simple spell before they attempted it.

He thought back to Hermione and his first glimpse of her in five years. She was mad, he could understand it, but he didn't know why she wouldn't have just listened to him.

He had made a mistake, years ago; he hoped she would forgive him. If she didn't he may have nothing left. He sighed and looked at the date.

In three days he would be hopefully sentencing Marcus Flint to a minimum half-life in prison.

Life however, had not improved, even since escaping the darkness of the aurors, he felt, _empty. _

_***_

Jonathon smiled broadly when she entered, but that smile quickly faltered when he saw the pain written over her face. He sat up gingerly and reached for her hand, pulling her trembling body into a gentle embrace.

Sobs wracked through her body and he felt his heart ache for her. "Hermione… what's wrong? Is it Clara? Is it Emerald?" Hermione shuddered and nodded her head. Hermione opened her eyes quickly and removed herself from his arms.

"I'm sorry, that was improper." She stated in a formal voice and Jonathon chuckled.

"Hermione, nothing with you could be improper." Hermione met his intense gaze and looked down, her heart yearning for some form of affection.

"So… where was I up to? I think seventh year?" Jonathon frowned slightly when she changed topic, but listened nonetheless. She talked for hours, occasionally sitting with Clara and checking on her condition before returning, an even sadder expression on her face than before.

"..And he did it, killed Voldemort and…finally we had peace." She whispered in a far away voice and Jonathon nodded.

"Hermione, what is wrong with you? Are you sick?" he asked and Hermione stared at him in horror. Jonathon immediately interpreted her stunned silence as a yes. "What's wrong?" Hermione took a deep breath before whispering two words.

"I'm dying."

***

Charlie sat before her, his large callused hand holding onto his daughters softly. "Charlie." He looked up in shock; he had barely seen Hermione since she had been at the burrow, large bags were under her eyes, her face looked older, her features withdrawn, the happy glow he had grown to know well over the past fifteen years was gone, and in its place was a shell of Hermione Granger, a shell that looked as if it was ready to break.

"Hermione… listen I'm…" he trailed off when he saw the serious expression on her face.

"I have discovered a cure for Clara, which will save her life." Hermione said and Charlies face lit up. "It involves the live transplant of another person's heart." Hermione whispered darkly and Charlie's features grew stony.

After a silence that seemed to last an age, Charlie spoke, determination on his face.

"I will do it." He said firmly and Hermione felt her eyes water once more.

"Okay."


	22. The matters of life and death

Hermione knew, even as the words escaped his mouth that she would not allow it. She would rather give up her life than let him die and leave behind his wife and children. But Hermione did not have a healthy heart to give and perhaps, it was the fate of the Weasley family to lose another member, whether it be Charlie or his daughter Clara.

Hermione stood and left a now lost looking Charlie and entered the head healer's office, paperwork in hand. Claire looked up and smiled sadly at Hermione's morose features.

"Hermione. You should sit." Claire spoke softly, yet sternly and she immediately obeyed, feeling the older woman's eyes boring into her. "In three days time you have been requested to give evidence in the trial of Marcus Flint, the man accused of the attempted murder of Jonathon." Hermione nodded solemnly and Claire sighed. "The head auror of the operation will escort you there; he will be here at eleven sharp, Friday morning." Claire said and Hermione looked up a slight frown crossing her features.

"Attempted murder, but… madam… it is clear that Jonathon… he… he cant…" Hermione suddenly looked down at her hands and felt a lone tear betray her resolve.

"Hermione… I tried so hard to make sure you did not go through my pain…" the older woman had her hands clasped in front of her and the healer surveyed Hermione critically. "Miss Granger, why have you not reported your illness to me?" she suddenly asked and Hermione looked up quickly in astonishment.

_How could she tell? Were the symptoms showing? Am I closer to death than I thought?_ "How… how did you-"

"The bereavement of the heart is old magic… my cousin…Minnie asked me to watch over you… soon you will not be able to continue your duties here, when that day comes I will ask you to leave." Hermione simply nodded and Claire sighed desolately. "How… how is your daughter?" Hermione suddenly let a small squeak escape her lips. _Emerald, she must be taken care of… I must make arrangements! Im a fool for waiting so long!_

"I must go, I am sorry." Hermione said and stood immediately flooing to her home.

When Emerald ran down the stairs a bright smile on her face; and threw her arms around Hermione's neck she realised she knew exactly what she was going to do no matter the consequences.

Call it what you want.

Hermione called it a mother's duty.

***

"And then my magic saved me, by giving me this bereavement…. And my only cure is-"

"The return of the one whom caused the bereavement or the willingly sacrificed heart of someone in love with you." Jonathon stated and Hermione frowned heavily.

"How…"

"Minerva." Jonathon whispered and Hermione felt a sudden hint of anger rise within her, but she managed to control it, barely.

"That woman sticks her nose into too many things." Hermione stated and Jonathon snorted.

Jonathon reached forward and held her hand in his, he began to rub soothing circles around the back of her hand with his thumb and Hermione looked at him in confusion.

"Take my heart." He whispered and Hermione's eyes widened and she shook her head. "Hermione I know I am dying, but you must… I am in love with you… and I willingly sacrifice my life for you."

"No… I will not let you." she stated firmly, tears falling down her face. Jonathon growled at this and Hermione noticed his grasp on her hand tighten slightly.

"Yes… because I am dying, faster than you and I want you to… I want you to live for Emerald and everyone else who loves you." Hermione shook her head, begging the tears to stop falling.

"You must let me do this or I will simply kill myself." He threatened and Hermione's eyes widened in horror. She sat in stoic silence, the tears had ceased and Hermione felt the coldness in her heart lessen, ever so slightly. "I love you and I will do this. I only ask of one thing in return." Hermione remained silent and Jonathon continued. "Do not let that little girl… do not let Clara die… do everything in your power… I beg of you… she is a light in this world, one just waiting to shine." He implored her and Hermione nodded rising from her seat.

It was then that life gave Hermione a choice.

Refuse his offer and let the three of them die.

Take his offer, be selfish and save herself.

Or keep her promise, and sacrifice both their lives to save the precious girl by the name of Clara.

***

He was wheeled into Clara's room to say his last goodbye. She was in a coma, Hermione had assured him that she was doing everything she could to get her out of it. Jonathon smiled when the little girl sighed in her deep slumber. He placed a letter with her name written on it, on her bedside table. He placed his hand over hers and began to speak to her.

"Hello my little red head." He began and felt a knot rise in his throat. "I have to go… but… I will always be with you… watching over you… you have been the light in my life this past year. And I thank you. But know I am going to save the girl I love… with all my heart." he gently kissed her forehead and pushed his wheel chair away and looked to the door where Hermione was, tears rolling down her cheeks. "I love you my sweet… and goodbye." Hermione moved forward and rolled him into surgery, she had decided that she was to prepare him, it felt like a duty she had to perform for him.

Hermione smiled down at him and Jonathon saw the guilt in her eyes. "You don't have to do this." She whispered and he smiled smally and placed a hand on her cheek. She leaned into his touch, closing her eyes.

"This is the last part of me that is whole and I am giving it to you, to guard and do what you wish with it." Hermione opened her eyes and placed a hand to his forehead and gently moved his hair from his forehead. "thankyou Hermione… for telling me your stories… do not fear… life has funny ways of turning out just fine… even when it seems as if your life was getting worse… life always has most illuminating things around the corner just waiting for you." his words were cryptic, Hermione was sure that one day they would make sense.

"But I am yet to hear the happy ending Hermione?" Hermione smiled through her tears and sat beside him gently, continuing to stroke his hair absentmindedly. She opened her mouth to speak but he beat her to it. "Harry comes and sweeps you off your feet… he takes one look at you and falls madly in love… and Emerald finally has the father she has always longed for." Hermione produced a pained smile in response to his words.

"I can hope." She said with pain adamant in her eyes.

"Never doubt a dying mans word and I do love you." he whispered and Hermione brought her face closer to his. She placed her lips tenderly to his, it was then she felt it a slight warmth in her heart; and as she broke away she said in an almost inaudible whisper.

"I love you too." He smiled when she stood and noticed the man standing in the doorway, indicating to her that it was time.

"I am sorry healer Granger, but we must prepare for surgery." Hermione nodded and turned back to Jonathon.

"Thankyou Jonathon… for everything." He nodded a smile on his face as she placed the tip of her wand to his forehead and with a soft smile on her features, knowing that she would be the last thing he ever saw, whispered a spell that made his vision blur and her face slowly disappear.

And then, as consciousness left him for what would be the final time in his short life, he uttered a single word that made Hermione's heart break.

"Hermione."

***

**AN**

**Your thoughts….?**


	23. Imprisonment

_Love. _

_Is supposedly a positive emotion of deep affection and devotion towards another._

_Positive._

_All I feel when I love, is pain. _

_And pain is a negative feeling._

Hermione placed a hand over her chest, it was still tender. She closed her eyes as the elevator carried her slowly down to the ground floor. She walked through the waiting room and when she focused on what was before her she felt her heart ache.

_Emerald._

He looked up and his face displayed shock, but slowly a warmth and deep affection looked upon her. Hermione looked down as she approached him, her bag clutched in the vice grip that was her hands.

_Love._

_Is Hermione. _

Harry watched her walk towards him slowly, as if unsure if she should be. She had met his gaze once and then turned it to the floor, as if it was the most interesting thing in the world.

Once she was within his reach he noticed how white her knuckles were around the leather straps of her shoulder bag. He reached forward and placed his hand over her clenched fist. Hermione froze under his fingertips and Harry tried to catch her gaze.

She slowly looked up and Harry saw the darkness of pain in them and he moved forward, not entirely sure if his actions would be welcomed. He wrapped his arms around her and once more her body grew stiff, as if in shock of the heat of his body.

Hermione was the first to pull away, tears brimming her eyelids.

"Mr. Potter. I must inform you that… Jonathon passed away late last night." Hermione whispered and Harry watched as a tear rolled innocently down her cheek. He reached forward and wiped it gently away with the pad of his thumb.

"He was a friend of yours?" Harry whispered and Hermione bit her lower lip.

"More than a friend." Hermione mumbled and Harry felt his heart begin to break.

Hermione saw his face fall and she moved past him, out into the bright light of muggle London. She felt his hand hold hers gently and then the familiar tug of apparation.

Hermione looked up and noticed the large black doors before her and sighed.

"You'd think they could choose better colours than dark and gloomy wouldn't you?" Hermione said to no one in particular and Harry chuckled.

"Well, generally court rooms aren't places of happiness." Hermione nodded her head in agreement and Harry opened the door for her. She seemed distant, and after that one moment in the hospital she refused to hold eye contact with him. Harry hated that fact. "Don't worry, I'll protect you." he whispered and watched a small smile grace her features.

The court room immediately grew deafly silent when they entered, Harry was used to it, however most, if not all of the attention was on the distraught looking Hermione Granger. She gently moved a stray curl that had escaped her tight bun from her face and decided to stare at the back of Harry's head as he lead her to the front row. In the centre of the room sat Marcus Flint whom turned his eyes onto Hermione the moment she entered.

She looked up and met his almost black eyes. He smiled a lop sided grin that showed off his yellow teeth. Hermione swallowed bile when he started talking to her.

"Hey mudblood… fancy a fuck with a real wizard? I'm sure I'm better than that blood traitor Weasley." He smirked when she looked affronted, but his smirk instantly disappeared when Harry stood and approached him.

Hermione watched as the black haired man leant down, his eyes never leaving Hermione, and whispered in the bound mans ear.

Flint immediately froze and looked to the floor as Harry returned to his seat besides Hermione. The trial was very fast, Harry and Hermione were the only witnesses other than Flint, to speak. Hermione was last.

A man with long grey hair looked up from his papers. He sat besides Kingsley in the centre of the wizengamot. He surveyed Hermione critically for a moment and then spoke; his voice sent an icy chill down her spine.

_What is he speaking for? He never questions witnesses!_ Harry thought as he watched the old man survey his love.

"Healer Granger. How exactly did Mr. Andrews die?" he inquired and Harry saw Hermione look up confused.

"From the satania curse, an ancient curse founded by-" he held up his hand to stop her.

"Tell me simply, exactly how Mr. Andrews died." He said and smirked when Hermione's eyes widened at where his line of questioning was going.

"Late last night he had an operation… he donated his-"

"- he gave a live donation of his heart. Surely you would have known he would die from this." The wizened old man inquired nastily.

"Yes but-"

"And from what I have before me it was on your orders that the operation took place."

"Yes however-"

"So in admitting you authorised such an action you are admitting that you assisted in the suicide of Mr. Jonathon Andrews?" Hermione swallowed when she heard the collective gasp that rang through the room. She turned and saw Harry's fearful expression from the front row and she felt a stray tear escape her and roll gently down her cheek. "Miss Granger?" Hermione turned to the man and whispered.

"Yes." Hermione looked down at her hands which were clasped tightly together. When she looked up she saw Kingsley's confused expression and the man beside him smiling gleefully.

"Then we can charge you with malpractice, the assistance in suicide and a breach of doctor patient … how can we say… _guidelines._" Hermione gasped in shock and Marcus Flint let out a bark of a laugh. The man looked upon her with dark beady eyes and Hermione felt anger rise within her.

The lights flickered and the man before hers smirk turned into a scowl when he felt the ground shake.

"Sir! That is a completely ridiculous accusation with absolutely NO merit!" Harry yelled in her defence, rising from his seat much to the pleasure of the media.

"If Mr. Potter could _kindly_ take his seat." The man ordered and withdrew his wand binding Hermione immediately to her seat. "Therefore, Marcus Flint can only be charged with attempted murder, because the murder itself was committed by this young woman before us."

Kingsley looked apologetically to Hermione whom merely bowed her head.

"Take her to Azkaban."

"NO!" Harry bellowed and Hermione felt tears stream down her face.

"Harry!" she screamed as two wizards began to drag her away.

"Hermione?"

"MY DAUGHTER!" she screamed as the door slammed behind her.

_Daughter?_


	24. Not without my daughter

_Cold, bitterness, what is my worth; I am a withered woman, with nothing but an ache in my heart keeping me here. _

_Emerald. She is my life. _

_And now I have failed her._

_And my life is forfeit. _

Hermione hugged her knees to her chest and closed her eyes, in an attempt to block out the grimy black walls that encompassed her. She felt her body shake in the bitter cold that was biting into her skin, but the cold air that was coming in from the sea was nothing compared to the coldness in her heart.

She laid down on the cold, rotten floor and took a deep, painful breath.

_Death, a permanent departure from life._

_Peace._

She let out a ragged breath as her heart beat slowed; the pain in her icy heart had suddenly amplified.

To save two lives, Hermione sacrificed her own and Jonathon's.

_Fair trade._

***

Harry ran up to Kingsley and grasped his robes, shoving him into the stone wall fury burning in his eyes.

"She is no murderer! She has done nothing wrong!" Harry shouted and Kingsley grasped Harry's hands and removed them from his expensive robes. "Please… you can't." Harry pleaded and the minister for magic let out a sigh.

"I need to talk to you about something. In private." The dark wizard whispered and Harry nodded, following him into one of the interrogation rooms. The older man turned. "Minerva." Harry looked in shock as the headmistress appeared before him.

"We have a lot to talk about Harry. First… Mr. Fulton." Harry frowned when he thought of the gray haired wizard. "We are investigating him for… treason and the improper use of his authority."

"Then why did you allow him to send 'mione to Azkaban!" Harry exclaimed and his old professor frowned slightly.

"It was not our intension for Miss Granger to go to jail… especially in her condition." Minerva spat and Kingsley nodded solemnly.

"What condition?" Harry asked slowly, dreading the answer.

Minerva looked up and a soft twinkle erupted in her eyes. "That's the other thing we need to have a little chat about." She chuckled slightly and Harry frowned at how she found humour in the situation.

***

Lizzie opened her eyes slowly and stared at the black button up shirt before her. Her eyes went to the owner of said garment, whom was still sleeping peacefully his arms wrapped around her.

Lizzie was in shock that she hadn't fallen off in the middle of the night, the couch was small, there was barely enough room for one person let alone two! She smiled smally at the dark wizard before her. He looked so peaceful in slumber, gone were the serious lines on his brow, gone were his worries.

She remembered last night, she had been in her living room, reading a book after putting Emerald to bed. The knock at the door several hours later made her jump and she clutched her wand tightly as she opened it, but smiled when Blaise stood before her a dozen ruby red roses in hand.

"_Blaise! It's almost ten thirty, what on earth are you doing here?" she asked in shock and watched his chocolate cheeks darken in embarrassment. He looked down and smiled when he saw her white pyjama pants which had love hearts scattered across them; and her white tank top which left, little, he was glad, to the imagination. _

"_Nice pyjamas." He whispered and Lizzie quickly crossed her arms over her chest and he held out the roses for her to take. _

_She lifted them to her nose and smiled when the sweet perfume filled her senses. She beamed and beckoned him inside. She had seen a lot of Blaise lately, although she was not complaining in the slightest._

_He was a charming, thoughtful and handsome man. "I was just doing a bit of reading… I'm sorry I have nothing for us-"_

"_May I sit with you? I have intruded on your evening, I may as well join in on your activity?" he reasoned and Lizzie smiled smally. She took her place on the lounge and noticed him pluck a random book from Hermione's vast collection and sit beside her._

_They read in companionable silence. As the night drew on Lizzie daringly moved so that her head was rested comfortably in his lap, the book above her so that he could not see her pink cheeks, embarrassed by her forwardness. _

_But he had merely entangled his fingers in her hair and was gently massaging her scalp. Lizzie closed her eyes at the feeling and felt peace over come her._

_She gently dropped her book to the floor and kept her eyes closed, a soft smile on her face. Blaise placed his book to one side, having not read a single word and gazed down at her beautiful features, the soft smile, lit up her face, he was sure if her eyes were open they would look just as bright._

_As if sensing his gaze she opened her eyes with a slight flutter and he smiled warmly when her cheeks turned a dark shade of crimson. He gently stroked her cheek and smiled when she closed her eyes and leant into his touch._

_And then she sat up and turned to face him, her cheeks flushed, hair mussed. Her eyes were dancing with light and Blaise watched her slowly approach him. Her lips tantalisingly close. _

It was soon after that first, sweet kiss that Lizzie deducted she had fallen asleep. She gently drew circles on his chest with her fingertip, her gentle caress moving up to trace his jaw line, his lips, and then his eyes shot open and she froze, holding his intense gaze. Until.

"Auntie Lizzie. Where's mummy?" Emerald asked suddenly and Lizzie sat up in shock and then fear. Staring at the little girl in her night clothes, suppressing a yawn.

"I am not sure."

***

He stood and left the room without uttering a word to the two other adults.

He swallowed his tears of frustration, hurt and most of all guilt as he apparated to Azkaban prison. He refused to do as Hermione wished and see to her daughter, it hurt him too much to think that she could have been with someone else. Someone other than him.

It was selfish, but Harry Potter was sick of being selfless.

And he wished Hermione was not so noble.

The waves crashed on the shoreline as two guards immediately escorted him inside, the storm outside brewing into what would soon be a thunderous storm. Despite the dementors having left the prison during the war, the cold dark walls were enough to send anyone mad. He drew his thick cloak tighter around his body and requested the cell number of a 'Miss Hermione Granger'. He waved off their requests to escort him, he needed no such thing, he had been to this prison to many times over his career as an auror, there was no need for an escort.

Cell 346 was large, but bore little furniture and dirt and grime covered the floor and walls, his heart clenched when the little light in the cell shone on a silhouetted figure in one of the dark corners. He entered the cell and silenced it, closing the door behind him.

"Hermione." He whispered, but she did not move, her breathing, seemed weak, uneven. He was concerned when she didn't answer and with her condition on his mind he knelt to the ground and turned her body over.

A slight trickle of scarlet fell from her plump lips, he quickly scooped her up into his arms and gasped at how cold she was. He stood and immediately ran from the cell, down the many stairs and into the wardens office.

He grabbed some floo powder and shouted. "St. Mungos, prison ward!" the healers immediately looked up in surprise when they saw Harry Potter in their ward, an unconscious Hermione Granger in his arms. They lead him to a free room and he immediately placed her on the bed.

"She is suffering from hypothermia… brought on by…" the older woman froze when her wand rested above Hermione's heart. "What is wrong with her?" the woman snapped and Harry bowed his head.

"She is suffering from the bereavement of the heart." The woman gasped and placed the tip of her wand to Hermione's forehead, whispering spells in quick succession under her breath.

Harry looked up and frowned when he saw a woman with a striking resemblance to McGonagall appear in the doorway a look of anguish on her face.

"Sarah… she is my patient." Claire Evans whispered and Sarah looked up and nodded.

"I brought up her temperature… but there isn't much we can do… she is deteriorating too rapidly." Sarah stated as she exited and Claire closed the door behind her.

"Hello Harry." She whispered and he felt her strikingly bright eyes on him. "I assume you know that she is suffering because of …. Her love for you." she whispered and Harry nodded taking a seat beside her bed. "I am going to wake her up now… I think you should talk." The older woman placed the tip of her auburn coloured wand to Hermione's head and whispered a simple spell under her breath.

***

Hermione felt the warmth pulsate through her body for a moment, before the cold once more sank in. The tip of something warm was placed to her forehead and her eyes immediately opened the bright light of the room invading her senses and leaving her slightly dazed.

Claire smiled smally down at her and Hermione tried to return it, but failed miserably, returning not a smile, but a grimace of pain. "Claire… where-"

"Hush. Mr. Potter shall explain." Claire placed a friendly hand to Hermione's shoulder, gave it a gentle squeeze and left, the hospital door closing with a snap behind her.

Hermione turned and her eyes widened when she saw Harry staring at her, his eyes glassy.

"Where's Emmy?" Hermione dared to ask, knowing that he would be angry with her, he frowned in confusion and Hermione added. "My daughter." _Correction, our daughter._ She thought dismally and Harry sighed heavily.

"I didn't go to her." He said darkly and Hermione saw pain in his eyes, a dark emotion she had not seen in many years. Silence engulfed them for several moments until Hermione turned her gaze to the ceiling, feeling wave after wave of grief overcome her. "Why didn't you save yourself?" Harry asked, anger laced his words and Hermione turned confusion in her eyes. "Why didn't you keep the heart for yourself, save yourself from this bereavement? It is the only cure! Minerva told me so!" he questioned darkly and Hermione swallowed and placed a hand to her chest, the cold radiating off of her. _Its not the only cure, you can save me._

"I am a mother… I would never have taken either a daughter or a father from a family… this is Charlie and Clara we are talking about… I was not going to be selfish and forfeit either of their lives!" Hermione exclaimed and then coughed suddenly, her throat raw. She let out a small whimper and stared at the white ceiling.

After a long moment he spoke quietly. "I'm sorry Hermione… I just don't want to lose you again." He whispered and Hermione let out a noise of disbelief. "I want you back."

"You went to her before… who says you won't leave me again for another prettier girl?" Hermione asked and harry saw the genuine fear in her eyes.

"I was wrong… I should have stayed with you… I should have realised… I was so stupid! You are so beautiful in mind, body…" he said despondently and bowed his head. "I should have known I couldn't bare to lose you." he whispered and Hermione felt her heart clench in pain.

"Bring my daughter to me… I need to see her… please." She begged and Harry nodded, exiting the room just as Hermione let out a heart wrenching sob.

Harry walked down the halls towards the fireplace and with a handful of powder and green flames surrounding him he shouted.

"Granger residence."

***

The floo sounded and Emerald ran down the stairs gleefully, finally her mother was home.

"Mummy!" she exclaimed as she ran into the living room. She froze when she saw a tall man with round glasses staring at her. "Who are you?" she asked backing away slightly. The man stepped towards her, his emerald green eyes flashing in confusion.

A woman entered the room followed by Blaise Zabini and Harry looked up and then back at the girl, uncertainty on his face. Lizzie let out a small cry of shock when she saw the man before her.

Emmy had backed away until she was leaning against Lizzie's legs her face showing fear and curiosity. Harry approached, slower this time and bent to his knees when he reached the girl.

His gaze fell upon her black hair, then her face, a mirror image of Hermione's except for her bright _emerald_ green eyes. He looked up at Lizzie who simply nodded her head, biting her lip furiously.

"My name is Harry Potter and who are you?" Harry whispered and saw the small girl's eyes light up the way Hermione's used to when she discovered something.

"I'm your daughter."

**AN so…. Your thoughts? :D**


	25. Love me once more

He stared. There was nothing else at that precise moment he could do. He gazed into the familiar green eyes that he saw every morning in the mirror, they were alight with child like happiness, however Harry sensed a deep underlying emotion, most likely concern for her mother.

_Hermione_.

Harry immediately snapped out of his daze and looked up, noting that the two other adults were staring at the pair, waiting for one of them to speak.

"Its nice to meet you Miss?" Harry inquired gently and Emerald smiled.

"Emerald Lillian Granger." Harry smiled broadly at her tone of voice; it sounded so much like her mother. _Hermione._ He thought of her once more and extended his hand.

Emerald took it cautiously and he shook it gently. "We need to go see your mum." Harry looked up and at the woman Harry assumed was Hermione's cousin and gave her a meaningful look that startled the young woman. _Shite, is it that obvious?_

"Where is she?" Emerald asked a small adorable pout forming on her features.

Harry sighed and closed his eyes for a moment. "Your mum is not well, she is in hospital." Harry said slowly and Emerald's eyes widened.

"What di-dizeeze does she have?" it was in that moment, that second that Harry fell completely in love with his daughter. She was definitely Hermione's _and mine._

"Can we go see her… she can explain sweetheart." He whispered and she nodded placing her arms around his neck, burying her face in his collar. Harry wrapped his arms around her and stood walking towards the fireplace.

Lizzie followed and whispered. "Go tell Luna and Draco." Blaise nodded and pressed his lips tenderly to her forehead before leaving the house and disappearing with a loud crack.

Emerald had not looked up from Harry's now wet shirt and he rubbed soothing circles around her back, whispering reassurances to her in an affectionate voice.

Lizzie entered Hermione's room first and Harry stood in the doorway, gently swaying from side to side. Emerald looked up and rubbed her eyes with her tiny fists.

Her brow furrowed in confusion. "Why are we dancing?" she asked curiously and Harry smiled.

"Do you like dancing?" Harry whispered and she nodded, a small grin on her face. Harry began to spin and his daughter let out a shriek of laughter which is when Harry stopped and looked into the room where Hermione sat bolt up right staring at him.

***

He truly looked like a father at that moment. He seemed to be in his element. Hermione suddenly felt guilt for keeping the two most important people in her life apart.

Lizzie noticed she wasn't answering any of her questions and she immediately followed her gaze and smiled at Harry. He froze and locked eyes with Hermione whom allowed a single tear to fall down her cheek. He entered the room, Emerald in his arms, her eyes large and puffy, still slightly watery from crying.

"Oh sweetheart, come here." Hermione whispered soothingly and Emmy reached out her little arms for her, straining to reach her mother. Harry slowly neared and placed Emerald gently on the bed, where she threw her arms around Hermione's neck spluttering and mumbling things between sobs.

"Mummy…. What's wr-wrong… I'm sc-scared… I want to go home…" the little girl trailed off into little whimpers and Hermione kissed her head gently.

"Mummy's fine Emmy, you can stop crying precious, it's all going to be okay. Trust me" Emmy broke away from her mother and looked defiantly into Hermione's eyes, questioning the truth in Hermione's statement.

"You better not be lying mummy, I'm old enough to know grown up things!" she said in a proud voice Harry had heard Hermione use often when they were children. Hermione chuckled at this, a sharp pain erupting in her chest as a result of it.

"Are you now? Sweetie, I know you are very mature and very intelligent but I was wondering if you could go outside with Auntie Lizzie for a moment so I can talk with Ha- your _father_." Hermione whispered the last word and met Harry's eyes which were full of warmth. "He's a good man your dad." Hermione added when Emerald looked at her sceptically. "I love you so much." Hermione whispered and Emmy smiled.

"Love you too." The small girl whispered and Hermione smiled sadly at Lizzie who nodded and Hermione kissed her daughters cute button nose before Lizzie swept Emerald into her arms and left the room, the door shutting in her wake.

Harry took another step towards Hermione and she bit her lip. He dared to inch closer his eyes never leaving hers. She stared into his smouldering depths and knew that her eyes were cold and dark, something he was not used to.

Harry sat gently on her bed and placed a hand over Hermione's which made her smile smally.

"I'm sorry… for everything." Harry said in a hoarse voice, as if he was fighting back tears. Hermione reached up and placed a gentle hand to his cheek. Harry placed a hand over her heart and his face contorted with pain when he felt the freezing temperature of her skin. "This is my fault.. My entire fault." Harry let the words out in a small gasp and bowed his head.

"I think it's my fault for falling in love with you… you stole my heart and I stole yours." She whispered and Harry smiled smally.

"I should never have left you." he whispered and Hermione stroked his cheek tenderly.

"I shouldn't have kept _her_ from you."

"I don't know how to be a dad."

"You are an amazing father and you will be her father." Harry smile broadened considerably at this and he kissed her hand gently, the feeling sent a jolt of happiness straight to her heart.

"She is an amazing girl; you have raised her so well. I wish I had been there… I'll make up for it now… I promise." He whispered with such determination and emotion in his voice Hermione let out a small sob. He bent down and brought her icy lips to his for a tender, loving kiss. "I love you with all my heart." Harry whispered looking directly into her eyes. Her honey coloured orbs lit up, her eyes turning from honey to a bright gold as she smiled.

"I love you." she whispered and Harry watched as what little colour that was in her face disappeared, the shining light in her eyes faded. A soft, angelic smile still etched upon her features.

And she was gone.

_Hermione._

**AN there will be another chapter.**


	26. Our greatest strength, our greatest pain

The sun had just begun to break through the heavy blanket of clouds that had surrounded them for the past week. He watched as the light travelled to cover the gravestone closest to him.

The gravestone itself was of white marble, that seemed to twinkle in the bright golden light that now shone upon it. It stood, in companionable silence next to those of who _she_ loved most of all, those who had fallen over the past fifteen years. The positioning was as _she_ had requested in _her_ letter, three spots down from the graves of Tonks and Lupin, and two spots from Sirius' plaque.

The grave stood on its own, brave and bright, standing alone despite everything, a clear description of Hermione. Harry knelt beside the grave and placed a hand over the carved symbol, a pair of angel wings. He felt a small hand placed on his shoulder and he turned and looked into the tearful eyes of Clara Weasley. The small girl threw her arms around Harry's neck and he willed himself not to break down due to her emotions that were being transmitted into Harry's already solemn heart.

Harry looked to where Ron lay, three graves down and let out a small sob, which he fought back as the young girl clutched to him, her tears soaking through his black cloak. She eventually released him running back to her father's waiting arms. Charlie smiled sadly and nodded his head to Harry, respect in his eyes.

Harry looked up and saw Emmy sitting in the front row next to young Leo Malfoy and Lizzie whom was staring stoically at the grave stone, her expression unreadable much like his daughters , _oh my Emmy, you are so young… too young to understand this._ He thought and bowed his head, resting a single red rose on the freshly overturned soil.

Emmy stood and walked toward him and placed a gentle kiss to his cheek and Harry smiled kissing her forehead, a small light twinkling in his eyes. His daughter amazed him, she knew, much like _her,_ when he needed comfort, understanding, love. This was one of those times he needed all three.

Clara had a hand over her heart, which had once belonged to Jonathon Andrews, and now was eternally hers, in essence Jonathon lived on through that small girl, she carried him with her, always. Harry was glad that at least that was a small comfort to knowing he was gone from this world.

Unsurprisingly, Jonathon had left his entire fortune to Clara and … _her_, Clara's share had been set up in a trust fund to be given to her in small increments after the age of eleven until the full amount was available to her when she turned seventeen and was deemed by wizarding law an adult.

His final gift, had touched the Weasley family, _her_ share went directly to Emmy, in a similar fashion to Clara.

Harry swallowed and ran his fingers through his unruly hair. He felt morose, depressed even, in this suffocating environment. The cemetery where all his fallen friends laid was a beautiful private one, but the names on each tomb stone sent a wave of guilt and grief through him.

Harry had taken Teddy Lupin earlier to his parent's grave and told the eleven year old boy an amusing story of how his mother had entertained both Ginny and _her_ with her metamorphing skills in his fifth year. Teddy had smiled at the story, Harry always told Teddy stories of his parents as often as he could, the boy may only have his grandmother as his biological family, but his adopted family reached far and wide, including the Weasley's and Harry and _her_.

Draco stood and placed a hand on Harry's shoulder, attempting to give some comfort for the pain the bespectacled mans wandering thoughts brought. Harry nodded to Draco and then to Luna whom was cradling a baby girl in her arms.

Harry moved away from the main progression and squatted next to the simple black marble plaque dedicated to his godfather, Sirius. He brushed some stray dirt from its face and smiled when he thought of how Sirius wouldn't like all the grieving over him, it had been over ten years, and Harry still felt the loss.

He had made similar plaques to this one for his parents and Dumbledore, all whom were buried in different places. But it felt right to give them a place with the others.

They were all together once more, even if it was in another world. This newest edition, whom Harry himself helped bury, was much to young, but that was like many in this cemetery, all with many years ahead of them, lives cut short by the cruel world.

Yet it was a cruel world that had brought us _her _and _she _had saved many lives.

Minerva McGonagall sat in the very back row, sucking on what Harry could only guess would be a sherbet lemon. Harry sighed and sat beside her; the older woman didn't look at him but held his hand and placed the yellow treat in his palm. Harry placed the sweet in his mouth and they sat in companionable silence for a moment.

"I saw the papers… the man… he's in prison now?" Harry muttered and Minerva turned to him a concerned look on her face.

"Yes… Mr. Fulton is incarcerated." She said quietly, curious as to what he would say next.

"At least you got what you wanted." He whispered and Minerva placed a gentle arm around his shoulders. "Over the years, it seems as if… no matter what I do… people are hurt because of it… protecting me… loving me." he let a single tear roll down his cheek and the older woman sighed forlornly.

"Know this Harry Potter… we all do love you, and no one, and I mean this when I say it, no one regrets loving you, everyone, both past and present here today, loved you or some part of you. Love is our greatest strength."

"It's our greatest pain." Harry whispered and Minerva shook her head.

"When you look at her do you feel pain?" Harry looked up and a soft smile appeared on his face. "And there Mr. Potter is your answer."

**AN**

**Your thoughts? I promise.. the next chapter will be longer… much longer… review pleasse :D**


	27. Emerald and honey reacquainted

The bright light that was the sun was slowly disappearing under the horizon and as the sea raged in protest a small boat made its way across the sea to Azkaban Prison. The boat tipped and turned, more than once it seemed as if it was going to capsize, but he knew, deep down, that the auror's whom sat beside him knew they were safe, magic would protect them. _But it won't protect me!_ He thought angrily and as if reading his thoughts the auror beside him smiled smally.

He was shoved into his murky cell and unceremoniously fell to the floor, his old joints creaking in protest. Henrick Johan Fulton the third looked around his new home with distaste. His nose was scrunched as tight as it would go, as if that simple action would stop the scent of death that was slowly creeping through his nostrils and into his soul.

He looked around himself and saw through the bars to his left a huddled figure whom appeared to be talking to himself. Fulton made a noise of disgust and turned his nose up at the man. He immediately investigated the cell to his right and his heart missed a beat.

There in between the bars was a hollowed and almost unrecognisable face. But the aristocratic smirk and smooth drawl could be recognised anywhere. "Hello, Grandfather." Fulton's lips formed a thin line, almost disappearing completely as he surveyed his daughter's only son.

"Hello Marcus." He said tonelessly, no emotion in his voice, his eyes surveying the man whom he had once thought would do great things, until he followed in Fulton's own footsteps and joined Voldemort.

"Fancy seeing you here… I hear you are in here for life?" he could hear the smile in his grandsons voice and Fulton growled. Then a smirk formed on the older mans face and he let out a cackle of a laugh.

"I hear you are too." He watched Flint's eyes narrow and a roar of rage left his dry throat.

***

He looked up as if she was calling to him and a smile appeared immediately on his face as she made her way towards the gravestone. Tears were streaming down her rosy cheeks, a few stray droplets falling into her mouth so that she could taste the saltiness.

She bent down, kissed her fingertips and placed them over the inscribed name.

_Jonathon Angelus Andrews._

_Born: April 22__nd__, 1974_

_Died: November 4__th__, 2007_

_Friend._

_Confidant._

_Saviour._

_You will be sorely missed and loved._

_We are simply angels, whom do not know how to fly, when we go, we learn to soar._

She had a small smile on her face as the tears fell, she placed a blood red rose next to the many others that covered the ground, she withdrew her wand and cast a spell so that her rose turned solid gold and attached itself to the stone.

"Thankyou." She whispered and stood and continued her progression line to every grave in the cemetery. She reached Sirius and placed a rose on his plaque, then Tonks, Remus, James, Lily, Dumbledore and the many others whose names were etched into stone, to remain forever more, long after they had left.

Warmth filled her heart when she thought of those she had lost, they had left with love in their hearts and minds, every action, every sacrifice, for one simple reason.

Love.

It was amazing for her, to think that one emotion could control a person's actions so strongly, it was all surrounding and all consuming, every song, every story has some form of love in it, whether it be for another person, object or something alike, it was always there and it was what made this world worth living in.

She straightened her dress subconsciously and sensed a particular set of eyes staring at her. The sensation brought further warmth to her heart. Her eyes lit up in affection and she yearned to find the face that brought this peace to her heart.

When she turned and gazed upon the main party of mourners she noticed their eyes upon her, but she searched through the crowd and found the pair of emerald eyes she was searching for.

And once more, emerald met honey.

He had a smile on his tear stained face as he gazed upon her, she smiled when she felt warmth in her heart, a heat nothing could cool. She made her way back towards them, her dress was white, with gold flickering through it, just as Jonathon had requested.

Harry stood and they met, just as she reached the many chairs. He wrapped his arms around her waist and placed his forehead to hers. She smiled and placed her arms around his neck, looking deeply into his eyes.

Tears still streamed down her face, but they were tears of happiness mingled with sorrow, but most of all, they were tears of love.

Hermione Granger leant up and kissed him gently on the lips, a soft kiss yet full of promise and love. Harry smiled and moved a stray curl behind her ear, his hand resting on her cheek.

Something was tugging on her dress and she looked down and her smile broadened. "Hello Emmy sweetheart." Hermione said and Harry bent down and picked her up.

"Let's go home." Harry whispered and Hermione smiled as Emmy buried her face into the crook of Harry's neck, her breathing growing steady as she slowly fell into a peaceful slumber.

***

**AN okay.. I know I said I would give you a long chapter but… I have had an absolutely awful day and my emotions are getting out of hand and I didn't want to screw anything up as I wrote most of this yesterday, but I didn't want to not give you an update so here it is.**

**The next chapter I promise… will be longer :P anddddd yes…. Anyway…**

**Your thoughts?**


	28. A day in the life

**some things to clarify.... : **

**1. jonathon died.**

**2. everyone was affected badly by it because when they attended the funeral, which hermione set up to be in the cemetery of all those they lost during the war, they were all confronted with grief of those they had lost before then.**

**3. ginny's family would in my opinion have been angry at her for a long time, but they would have supported her and tried to understand her reasons for doing the things she did. also i doubt mrs. weasley would have allowed her grandson to grow up without her....**

if there is anything else you wish me to clarify please ask nicely in a review

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or anything to do with it.**

It still occasionally seemed odd, even after all that had happened in her life, that she was here today, her left hand resting comfortably on his bare chest, his mothers ring twinkling in the early morning light that crept through their closed shutters.

She raised her head slightly and smiled when she saw his sleeping face, his hair, as per usual was sticking out at odd angles, probably due to the fact she had grasped it last night in a moment of passionate stupor. Hermione's cheeks burned scarlet at the memory and she sat up slowly, making sure not to disturb him, _yet_, she thought a small smile on her face.

She began to trail gentle butterfly kisses up his abdomen, to his neck and then to his lips. The moment they came in contact his body sprung to life, immediately pinning her to the bed, her legs wrapped around his waist

He continued to breathe deeply, as if in a deep sleep and Hermione smiled smally, remembering fondly another time they had been in a similar position.

"Harry… Harry?" she asked her voice rising in pitch with each syllable that left her mouth. He made a noise and buried his face in the valley of her breasts, his breathing still heavy his body limp against her. She ran her fingers through his hair which had flecks of gray through it, in an attempt to rouse him from his slumber, but to no avail, he merely moved his face slightly, his nose grazing the side of her breast causing a sharp intake of breath on her part. "Harry? Sweetheart we have to get up…Harry!" she exclaimed in shock when his mouth latched onto one of her breasts, gently bringing its centre to a hardened peak. "Harry…" her back arched into his mouth and he opened his eyes a smirk on his face.

"Good morning." He said bemused and Hermione growled. He kissed her gently on the lips to calm her. She placed a gentle hand to his face and he smiled, kissing the inside of her wrist. He took her left hand and slowly removed his mothers ring, now hers, from Hermione's hand.

He twirled the ring in his fingers the emeralds and diamond sparkled up at him in the gentle rays of sunlight. _True love, forever and always. L&J. __**H&H**__. _He smiled and met her loving gaze. He kissed each of her fingertips before gently sliding the ring back on her finger, and with a sigh of contentment he rested his head on her stomach and feigned sleeping once more.

"Harry James Potter, get off of me this instant!" Hermione said in mock anger, a smile tugging on her lips.

"But I don't want to." Harry whined and resumed his feigned sleep.

"Stop acting like a toddler Harry, you're thirty nine years old!" she exclaimed and let out a squeal when he kissed the inside of her thigh.

"I know… I am the young one in this marriage Mrs. Potter." Hermione growled, he always teased her about the year difference between them; it was his form of a joke.

She rolled her eyes and smirked down at him. "I know and I have been offering my wisdom in _all_ aspects of our relationship." She whispered, her eyes hooded and he narrowed his eyes at her. She began to laugh; a sweet musical laugh and Harry couldn't help but smile and capture her lips in a smouldering kiss.

"Oh Harry, you know I love you but… morning breath!" she exclaimed and he smirked.

"You don't see me complaining about yours." He teased and she gasped and hit him playfully on the shoulder. "What was that for?" he faked discomfort and she shrugged her shoulders innocently.

He stood and walked casually toward the bath room door, the water started and Hermione leant back, pulling the covers up to her chin. She smiled when she thought of the past three decades of her life; she smiled because those three decades had involved Harry.

Her wedding was on the anniversary of James and Lily's, it was, thankfully a small, yet beautiful ceremony, few had attended, a guest list of about thirty. It was the way they wanted it. Harry of course stated _I really just want to settle down, have a quiet life… I know that seems impossible… but I really want to try._ Hermione smiled at the memory, their daughter had been the flower girl, she had turned five by then and was beginning to pick up every book in sight and read it, even if they turned out to be much too mature for her innocent eyes.

Hermione discovered about a month after their wedding that she was, once again pregnant. Harry of course was overjoyed, he completely devoted himself to everything, making sure Hermione didn't lift a finger, Hermione, although seeing the good things about his adoration, was often bored and often when her mood was undesirable she would take it out on him.

But he took it in his stride, and why wouldn't he, the twins were born and Jonathon looked exactly like Harry, right down to the messy black hair and bright green eyes. Elena however, was a spitting image of herself; her youngest daughter looked a lot like her eldest, the only difference, the colour of their eyes and hair.

Emerald had grown and Harry often commented that she looked a lot like Hermione did at school, nose always buried deep in a book or much to Hermione's chagrin, up in the air on a broomstick.

It was both Harry's pride and disappointment that Emerald had been sorted into Ravenclaw, instead of the house both her parents had been in. Hermione remembered telling him that she herself could have been placed in Ravenclaw, however it was her fate to be a Gryffindor, or she probably never would have known Harry. Therefore it was meant to be that their eldest would be a member of that house, no other reason.

It had been the year before Emerald entered Hogwarts that Hermione had replaced Poppy Pomfrey as the school nurse. Hermione yearned to be close to her children as they grew up and knew that she wouldn't be able to survive the long school year sitting at home, whilst Harry was at Hogwarts teaching.

Minerva, had decided that the Potter's were to live at Hogwarts during the school year in the enlarged quarters designated to the school nurse.

Hermione remembered vividly her first patient. It had been none other than Clara Weasley, on her first day she had gotten into a fight with another student over them calling a girl she did not know a mudblood. The insult was not commonly heard anymore, and the boy in question, a seventh year, was severely punished. Hermione smiled when she fixed the bruise on the back of her red head, from where she had fallen over.

Over the years after Jonathon's death, his heart had begun to give Clara his entire magical power, power which was beyond her years. The girl had to take extra lessons with Harry to learn how to control it, before taking up her position in the ministry of magic earlier that year alongside her best friend and cousin, Andrew. She was now, almost as powerful as Harry himself had been at that age, something Charlie was very proud of.

Clara unlike Emerald had been placed in Gryffindor and the moment Emerald entered the school their friendship had deepened. Much to Harry's displeasure, the head boy Leonardis Malfoy, the eldest of Draco's children had developed a deep love for the head girl, Emerald. Harry had always liked the eldest Malfoy, that was until he started dating his daughter. It was a rare match, due to the fact that Leo was a Slytherin and a Malfoy, two aspects that generally did not go well with a Potter.

The youngest of the Malfoy's, Annabella seemed to always be staring into space, much like her mother did as a child, as if she could see much more than everyone else around her. She had bright blue eyes and long white blonde hair which formed a halo around her head. She, like the twins had started school that year and when she was sorted into Ravenclaw, to the displeasure of Draco, she became close friends with Jonathon whom had been placed in the same house. Elena had been placed in Gryffindor and the moment she met Jacob Thomas, Ginny's youngest, they became instant friends.

Hermione sighed when she thought of Ginny; Harry still refused to be anything more than courteous, which was, to Hermione's regret, better than her own antics towards the red head. _Perhaps,_ she thought, _Jacob and Elena will bring us together once more._

It was definitely weird, not hearing the usual bustling of their children, but she waved it off and sat up slowly, just as Harry exited the bathroom, his towel hanging low on his hips. Hermione stood and walked into the shower, a small smile on her face.

The Great Hall was packed, Christmas was a mere three weeks away and the halls were covered in decorations, due to Hagrid and his assistant Denis Creevey's hard work.

Harry placed a gentle kiss to her hand before leading her to the head table, as per usual many eyes, namely first years, followed their ascent towards the teachers, Minerva McGonagall smiled smally as they approached, Harry sat to her right, taking his place as deputy headmaster.

Blaise smiled warmly from his end of the staff table, his robes long and black much like his predecessor Snape, rather than Slughorn. His only child Isla would be attending Hogwarts next year; Lizzie had opened her own practise in Hogsmeade to be closer to him and eventually her daughter once she attended the school.

Hermione looked around the entire hall and spotted her youngest daughter waving happily at her, sitting beside Jacob whom smiled smally in her direction. Hermione returned her daughters gesture and turned to the Ravenclaw table where Jonathon appeared to be having an intense one sided discussion with Annabella whom was merely staring dreamily off into space a small smile on her face.

Harry frowned when he saw the head boy stand from his own table and walk towards his daughter whom was on the other side of the room. He looked nervous, but attempted to put an indifferent expression on his face, at this Harry snorted.

Hermione smiled when the eldest Malfoy placed his hands over Emerald's eyes. Hermione turned and saw her husband's livid expression she placed a hand on his thigh and squeezed it gently. "Harry, they're teenagers… it's what they do." Hermione whispered and turned back to her daughter and saw her do the one thing a girl should not do in the presence of her father, especially when his name is Harry Potter.

"That little snake!" Harry exclaimed and Minerva and Hermione both exchanged glances, smiles on their faces. Hermione groaned when the teenagers kiss deepened and Harry turned to the headmistress. "Minnie! Do you see what he's doing to my daughter?" Harry exclaimed and Minerva turned to him her eyes twinkling.

"I have no idea what you are talking about Harry, your daughter is enjoying her breakfast."

"Yes… _really_ enjoying it." Hermione said to tease Harry and earned a chuckle from Minerva.

Harry stood to his feet and Hermione placed a hand over her warm heart and smiled, the heat emitting from it was just above what was natural, but in a good way.

"EMERALD LILLIAN POTTER!" Hermione flashed an encouraging smile towards her eldest whom broke away from Leo and her face burned a furious red, which resembled Hermione's own blush. Leo looked as if he was about to run, but his fathers trademark smirk was on his handsome face. _Run while you can Leo._ Hermione thought and bit her lower lip.

"Um… hello dad!" she said with a sweet smile on her angelic face.

_Yes, definitely another day in the life of Hermione Potter._

_**AN**_** hey guys,**

**Well… it's done… apologies if it isn't long enough, I just didn't want to drag it on too much.**

**Well, I must say a very big thankyou to all of you who have read my story, especially those who reviewed along the way, encouraging me and giving advice when needed it was much appreciated.**

**I hope to hear feedback on how you ALL liked/ disliked my story and why, because then I will know how to improve and that's always a valuable thing for a writer.**

**I hope to post another story up in the coming days/ weeks and continue my new found addiction to this site.**

**Thankyou once again and goodbye for now!**

**Caddy.**


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